Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Secular Humanists know how to party!

A National Day of Reason? Poppycock! May Odin the Allfather smite you where you stand you godless science heathens!
Odin's got some nerds to smite...
It's the fakon of national observances,
so yeah, it's going to be an uphill battle.
Check this out, two Democratic Congresspeople are voicing support for the National Day of Reason, a non-religious, God-free alternative to Thursday's National Day of Prayer (now with half the fat of regular national observances!). Cool, right? Wait-the National Day of what now? Oh yes, it's a thing, we talked a little about it last year. For those who like to live in the now, I'll sum up: The National Day of Prayer is a day "on which the people of the United States may turn to God in prayer and meditation at churches, in groups and as individuals."

"Ello, ello, 'ang on a tick,
woht's awl this then?"
Yup, that's in the US Code, the law of the land. If that's giving you a bobby (see right, I'm making up slang now), you're not alone. I mean, what ever happened to the separation of church and state? The law was passed in 1952, around the time 'under God' was getting shoehorned into the pledge, and while they totally had a First Amendment back then, anyone who complained got a face full of McCarthy-era black listing. But we live in the future now, so the American Humanist Association came up with the NDoR.

Above: Bullshit
(courtesy of Ken Ham's Dinosaurs of Eden)
So what the hell is a National Day of Reason anyway? According to their website, it's a day to draw attention to things that crap all over the separation of church and state. Things like putting the Ten Commandments in front of courthouses, teaching creationism in schools, and that time Rick Perry demanded that everyone pray to God for rain to put an end to the drought God sent them. It's well intentioned and they totally have a point, but check out their website's suggestions on how you can mark the occasion:

  • Work to have a Day of Reason proclaimed by your state or local government;
  • Hold a press conference for your local media to promote respect for the separation of religion and government, and to draw attention to the many breaches of that principle during recent months;
  • Organize a letter-writing campaign urging your elected officials to support the separation of religion and government;
  • Visit the National Day of Reason web site to sign up as an endorser, to view planned events, or to read some of the media coverage from previous years.

Look out Philatelists!
Hold a press conference? Organize a letter writing campaign? Holy shit guys, really? The National Day of Prayer might be a gross violation of the First Amendment but at least it isn't in danger of knocking National Stamp Collecting Month off its throne as America's most coma-inducing observance. The Jesus fans are offering believers a chance to talk to the almighty creator of everything and ask him for cash and favors and you're suggesting that we visit your website and read old news stories? Stage a protest or something. Throw parties where everyone shows up dressed as their favorite Age of Enlightenment philosopher (dibs on Thomas Paine!). A wise man once said "you don't win friends with salad," so for real secular humanists, let's use a little imagination.

And look, I don't have anything against people praying to God, or Allah or that thing from Star Trek 5 they thought was god, but turned out to be some evil entity with eye-lightning, but c'mon, you can't go around mixing church and state and not expect people to have a problem with it.
"What does God need with a Starship? Shut up, that's what."
-That thing from Star Trek V

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