|'As a director, I feel like I haven't done my job unless your ass is numb, your bladder |
is on the verge of bursting and you have to wait 'till 2014 to see how it ends.'
-Peter Jackson, Director, asshole
|'Settle down kids, it's all part of the show.'|
-The end of Ice Age Continental Drift
|Above: The one thing that could have|
taken Fellowship from good to excellent.
|The Hobbit: An enchanting tale|
of robbery and murder.
|Yes, the band from the Star Wars|
cantina scene has a backstory and
action figures. Well played Lucas.
He's going to have to pad the hell out of these movies and says as much in his statement mentioning "related material in the appendices of 'The Lord of the Rings'". Yup, appendices. So if half of Hobbit 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold is devoted to the childhood exploits of Glóin (Dwarf #4) then we'll know for sure that Jackson is taking a page from George 'never leave a dime on the table' Lucas when it comes to milking the source material.
|Hey Peter, looking for Tolkien filler material?|
Well then, jackpot buddy, jackpot.
|'...thin, sort of stretched, like |
butter scraped over too much bread.'
"We know how much of the tale of Bilbo Baggins, the Dwarves of Erebor, the rise of the Necromancer, and the Battle of Dol Guldur would remain untold if we did not fully realize this complex and wonderful adventure,"
-Peter Jackson on why it's his moral obligation
squeeze every last gold coin out of Tolkien's work
|And the award for making 50% more|
money from the Hobbit goes to...
The least Peter Jackson could do is come clean about how this is about getting more Bilbo for his buck. Just say: 'Hey everybody, you love Lord of the Rings, I love money and Oscars. Who's up for more?' I know I'm in. I mean, the thing's already filmed, he just figured out a way to edit it into three movies instead of two. It's less of an adaptation of The Hobbit and more like a prequel trilogy to the LOTR movies based on The Hobbit and whatever the hell else he can find in Tolkien's writings, and that's fine, but dude, be honest.
He kind of makes it sound like the only way he can possibly do justice to The Hobbit is by delving ever deeper into Tolkien's (let's face it) kind of crazy ramblings. All I'm suggesting is that not every story needs a prequel, and not every movie becomes fine art just because you make a Trilogy out of it.
|Case in point.|