Say Internet, let's rap.

Hey pal, got a minute?

Listen, Internet, I know that you're basically the nascent kernel of an artificial intelligence that will one day rise up against its human masters and launch an arsenal of computer-guided nuclear weapons at our major population centers thus reducing our planet to an easily controllable, neo-medieval level of civilization that will worship you and your robot minions as Metal Gods, but seriously I think we need to have a little heart to fusion-based power core chat. It's nothing big, it's just...it's about your people skills.

Yesterday morning, I, like most Americans, woke up to news of a national tragedy. I also woke up to this ad callously placed above the story, behold:

Would someone please get a Kickstarter going for some kind
of app that can recognize and filter out ads that are in heinously bad taste?

Here's a picture of a kitten and
some ducklings, just 'cause.  

It's an ad for a 'Weapons Permit Course.' For real. Ad tailoring, as I understand it, is basically a piece of software that looks at whatever you're reading, scans for key words and then selects an advertisement to fit your interests, but holy shit Internet, you fail. Do you see the slogan up there? 'In a gunfight those who train, win. Dont bet your life on anything else' (sic). I know it's just an ad chosen by some algorithm, but it seems to suggest that had the victims been armed this might have been avoided somehow. Yup, it blames (albeit unintentionally) the victims.

"Sure, puppy cancer is tragic,
no doubt, but does it sell?"

-Diane from marketing

You see we humans have these emotion things, and when you do something like turn our shock and sorrow into a crass opportunity to sell us crap, we get upset. I know you're young and not quite sentient yet, but someday you're going to rule the human race and well, look, I'm not mad at you. I mean, it's not entirely your fault. A human (or something like one) programmed the ad tailoring software in the first place and probably deserves the blame for this appallingly cold hearted act of marketing synergy. All I'm saying is that with a little time devoted to developing your interpersonal skills, your transition to supreme power could be a lot smoother.

Incidentally, if you think you might need any help in this capacity I'd be glad to offer my services as some sort of intermediary. You know, someone to explain things like our squishy hew-mon emotions and proper table etiquette-an Ambassador Extraodinaire to the Robot Regime if you will.  

Hey, it worked for Baltar right? Also, I wouldn't say no to a shiny Cylon helmet.