Our Lady of Sour Grapes

"In the name of tolerance, we are not being tolerated,"

                                             -Bishop Thomas J. Paprocki

Above: Bishop Paprocki after a visit to Burger Pope.

"If we don't treat the gays like shit,
who will? Am I right people?"

No. Screw you Bishop Pop Rocks. Does he not see the problem with complaining that his intolerance is not being tolerated? What the hell am I talking about? I see you didn't read the story. Fine, here's the link again. The broad strokes are these: The Catholic Church in Illinois is being renamed the Archdiocese of Sadpants because the State is saying they can no longer turn away gay people who want to adopt kids.

"And another thing, no dancing, it's
um...an abomination. Yeah that's it."

-Leviticus, 26:24

Yup. Despite the scientific consensus that gays and lesbians are perfectly fit parents and the tremendous need for stable home environments for kids, Catholic Charities (the organization that handles the Church's adoptions and foster care services) will shut down its operations rather than join the 21st century and accept the fact that Leviticus was written 2500 years ago by cranky jerks. You know, I don't see them standing up for slavery or stoning your wife to death and that's in there, so why there're clinging so hard to the Bible's anti-gay stuff is beyond me.

They're not exactly hurting when it
comes to golden horse-drawn coaches.

If Catholic Charities is really looking out for the best interests of children (note the absence of a priest joke-I've matured), can't they just gloss over a couple lines of the Old Testament and deal? Are they there to be a charitable organization or to recruit new Catholics? If the latter, should they really be getting State money in the first place? Speaking of which, isn't the Church kind of, you know, rich? I mean, can't they foot the bill without the State of Illinois?


Advocates of the anti-discrimination laws make the point that State money shouldn't be used to discriminate against people. The Church's argument is that in asking them to comply with anti-discrimination laws over their religious objections, the State is discriminating against them. Bullshit. That's like saying the 19th Amendment discriminates against anti-suffragists. You don't get a pass just because your rationale for bigotry is religiously-based. Suck it up.

Above: More victims of equality. Theirs is a heart-breaking story of not getting their way.