Nice cosmology, jerks...

Unless of course he takes a hostage,
then you have to take him down.

It's December, you're at the mall and you see a crowd of children waiting in line to get their pictures taken with some dude in a Santa suit. Do you run over, punch the old man in the gut, tear off his beard and shout: "Behold! The fat man is a fraud!" or do you accept the fact that the parents of these kids want them to have a few fond memories of childhood before the harsh light of adulthood sets in and they all end up spending the rest of their lives moping floors and mining the lunar surface (see Monday's post)? The answer is B. You leave the damn kids alone, dick. If you really want to punch Santa, wait until his shift is over.

Above: Me.

Look, I'm sick of Christmas by mid-October. It's not that I hate the holidays (all though I kind of do), it's that it's everywhere, all the time for like three months. We, as a culture, really need to scale it back. That said, I kind of think these guys are being jerks. Here's what happened: in the interests of fairness, the city of Santa Monica held a lottery to determine which organizations got to put out holiday displays around town. Local Atheists won most of the spots. Ok, fair is fair. The cold, godless universe smiles upon them.

"Happy Holidays, you backwards,
medieval imbeciles!"

-Your local Atheist pals

Certainly they took the opportunity to honor notable atheists like Isaac Asimov, Alfred Kinsey and Kevin Bacon, or to make a case for atheism, right? Nope. Instead they only used three of the displays they won, and of those only one offers a friendly 'Happy Solstice.' The other two kind of call out religious people for believing in things. Wow. You know, I'm not usually one to leap to the defense of warm fuzzy emotionalism over the cold face-slap of science, but lighten up Atheists.

Static Universe? You might
as well believe in unicorns.

Sure, when you get down to it they have a point. The Churchy-McGoddingtons of the world can't prove 99.9% of the things they believe in and most know that, but Atheists can't really disprove a lot of it either, and that's ok. It isn't science's job. Besides, a lot of really smart people believed in the Static Universe model before Big Bang displaced it and Big Bang didn't win out as the preferred cosmology because its supporters called Static Universe fans idiots, or put up a diorama in the park. It won because Big Bangers (ha.) made a better case. Posting a bunch of signs calling people stupid isn't going to change any one's mind, unless they thought atheists.org (the group that done put up them signs) wasn't made up of smug douche bags.


Science is supposed to be about 'I don't know, let's find out' not 'shut your stupid communion wafer hole.' Isn't that the true meaning of the Winter Solstice? Well, actually no, it's just the time when the Earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun but I guess it's also about getting along or something.

"Nope, no God here. So much for religion."