Everybody loves a parade! (Except Chicago Archbishop Francis George)

Sorry to be harping on religion lately, but what is up with Christian persecution complexes? Like would Rick Perry even have a job if Evangelicals didn't live under the delusion that they're some sort of persecuted minority who every year face down PC stormtroopers determined to rob them of their right to say Merry Christmas?

"Rwarr! You should have said 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas!' Rwaarrrrr!"

-Some lion, circa 64 A.D.

Nope, no Roman Empire. But the best
 country name award goes to Djibouti.

Look, I know Christianity has a history of being treated shittily by the establishment. Granted. But the establishment in question was the Roman Empire which, if I read the map correctly, is no longer a thing. In fact, before collapsing into a thousand years of dinner, tournaments and fun for the whole family, the empire converted to Christianity and promptly started picking on non-Christians. A lot of the last 1500 years of western civilization can be summed up with "Jesus: Love'em or die screaming you heathen pig." Now they kind of are the establishment.

"Harumph."

-Cardinal Francis George

So when Cardinal Francis George, the Supreme Admiral of the Chicago diocese (Catholics have admirals, right?) said the following without a trace of irony, you kind of have to wonder where the paranoia comes from:

"...you don't want the gay liberation movement to morph into something like the Klu Klux Klan, demonstrating in the streets against Catholicism..."

Yup he's comparing the push for LGBT equality to the KKK. That voice of reason you hear suggesting that maybe the Cardinal's statement goes a little too far? That's a Fox News host. When Fox News is asking you to rein in your crazy, it might be time to pause and check your math. 

Note to the Church: You don't get this
turnout telling people they're going to hell.

The Archdiocese of Chicago was upset because the route for this year's gay pride parade would have taken it past a church during mass. Ok, in fairness the once-a-year parade might indeed have been disruptive to the service. You know, the church service that has happened once a week, every week, for the last 2000 years or so. Fine. Surely the city's Catholic and LGBT communities could have worked something out without anyone bringing the goddamned Klan into it, right? I mean is holding a gay pride parade really the same as cross burnings?

In the end, parade organizers did relent despite the Cardinal's dickish comments. I just hope it was because it was the considerate thing to do and not because anyone actually gave a shit about inconveniencing Cardinal George.

"Jesus H. Christ, would somebody please go ask the gays to keep it down out there? 
I can barely hear myself condemn them to eternal torment."

Above: A member of the Church's
anti-gay marriage aerial division.

Hey, since the Chicago Gay Pride Parade organizers have demonstrated how to be kind to their fellow man, wouldn't it be great if the Archdiocese would do the same? The Catholic Church in Illinois actually has a special department whose job it is to defeat any attempts by gay people and their supporters to win equal rights under the law. It's sort of a special intolerance brigade, ready to spring into action wherever equality might rear its ugly head. Maybe they could, you know, knock it off? In the interest of getting along and all?