National Day of what now?

"Then it's decided, henceforth we shall be
known as The United States of Jesus."

-History

Today's the National Day of Prayer! So like, get crackin, it's the law. Wait, wuh? Yeah, today being the first Thursday in May is officially the day we're all supposed to pray to the white, Judeo-Christian God the framers intended all Americans to worship forever. Remember that? When that happened? Now before you fly off the handle about how we're supposed to keep church and state separate in this country just keep in mind that...uh...mumble mumble...hey, look over there!

 Something tells me the law
is not referring to Kali.

Ok, yes, it's not like anyone's going to bust down your door and make you participate and yes it has the same force of law as Leif Erikson Day and Safe Boating week, but it's also on the list of Patriotic and National Observances along side Mother's Day and Memorial Day so it's not like it isn't a thing. I guess like any whiney liberal my issue is not that something like the National Day of Prayer exists, it's that the language of the bill is pretty Jesus-y. Here, take a look:

"The President shall issue each year a proclamation designated the first Thursday in May as a National Day of Prayer on which the people of the United States may turn to God in prayer and meditation at churches, in groups and as individuals."

-U.S. Code 36, Section 119,

no, really, it's in there.

Pictured: Holy Ghost

It says we can all turn to God, with a proper noun capital G. Not god, or gods or Xenu or the vast godless void. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here by suggesting that they're specifically referring only to Jesus, Jesus's dad and whatever the Holy Ghost is. For a country that's not supposed to make a law respecting an establishment of religion (or something), this seems a little, well, establishy to me.

In fact, most NDOP (or en-dop) events are organized by and for Christian groups who like to cite how America is really a Christian nation and all that church/state separation bullshit is like totally gay.

Eagles, Bible quotes, waving flags...holy shit, if you're not on
your knees right now you're a goddamn terrorist.

"Speak for yourself, Judge."
-Tenctonese Lawyer P. Mason

So why the hell is NDOP even a thing? As you can imagine, it's has been challenged by people who are pretty sure that the separation of church and state means that we should be keeping church and state, you know, separate. In fact, back in 2010 the law was thrown out by Wisconsin Judge Barbara Crabb because it amounts to the government asking the people to be religious, but her ruling was thrown out last year. The reason, according to Chief Judge Frank Easterbrook: "A feeling of alienation cannot suffice as injury." 

Ok, that's fair I guess. I mean no one is really harmed by other people praying, right? I mean, it's nothing like the excruciating pain straight couples endure every time gay people get married.

Things were looking up for newlyweds Steve and Candice Wilson,
until a local gay couple also got married causing the Wilsons to explode to death.