Don't say Tennessee

It looks like Tennessee State Representative Joey Hensley was visited by the Ghost of Discriminatory Legislation Future last night and has decided not to bring the 'Don't Say Gay Bill' up for the final approval it would need to become law. In other news, a grown man is calling himself Joey.

Above: Representative Joey Hensley inspecting grade-school art
projects for signs that the kids might be aware of gay people.

$5 says he also owns trucknuts.

The bill was first introduced last year by Tennessee Republican Stacey Campfield. Campfield, still upset over having a girl's name and not being allowed to own Black people (see right), wrote it to combat the homosexual agenda (which he's pretty sure is a real thing) by pretending gay people don't exist. It would have prohibited schools from "...[providing] any instruction of material that discusses sexual orientation other than heterosexuality" because apparently kids in Tennessee lack "sufficient maturity to grasp" that some people are gay. Gee, with enlightened adult role models like these (again, see right) how could that be?

So in addition to relegating gays to the status of mythical creatures, it also fundamentally assumes that kids in Tennessee are as small-minded as their lawmakers. Good work guys.

The bill would have legally reclassified these guys as leprechauns.

"Ok, now who can tell me why Billy's
two Dads are going to hell?"

But the bill is dead, right? Tennessee legislators have finally come to their senses and realized that not only was their bill homophobic, it was also added to perception of their State as a backwards, ignorant relic of the 19th century. Right? Not so fast. Representative Hensley is actually holding off because the Department of Education and the State Board of Education have agreed to tell schools not to mention gayness in grades K-12.

So yeah, State Republicans got what they wanted, there's just not an official law on the books. Even more bullshit is Representative Joey's 'old man yelling at kids on his lawn' warning that if he catches wind of 'alternative lifestyles' being taught in schools, he'll go ahead and re-file next year. Welcome to Tennessee.

I'd like to propose we stop teaching kids there's
such a thing as Tennessee. Who's with me?