Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Ich bin ein Teapot, short und stout!

Are you for goddamn kidding me? Here, check this out. It's about a tea kettle that looks like Hitler. Someone saw it on a billboard and posted it on Reddit and now the thing is sold out. I have some problems with this not the least of which is the fact that a tea kettle's perceived resemblance to the leader of the Third Reich somehow increases its value.
When it whistles, it's time to invade Poland! See? 'Cause it looks like Hitl-
Hey, wait a minute who the hell advertises tea kettles on a billboard anyway?
I don't know what's crazier: that
she thinks the Mother of God came to her
in a cheese sandwich or that she sold it.
So the obvious question is does it really look like Hitler? Ehh...sort of. Although it might just be because somebody already made the connection. I mean, now that someone said 'Hey! It's Tea-kettle Hitler!' you can't not look at it and not see it. On the other hand you have to wonder about the first person to notice the resemblance. Usually when people see things in everyday objects, it's usually because they want to see it. Non-religious people probably won't spot the Virgin Mary in a piece of grilled cheese, but a devout believer (or regular crazy person) might. So do we see Hitler because we want to see Hitler?

"Yeah! My cat looks like the guy that
orchestrated the Holocaust! I"
Take for example. There are some cats on that site that really do look like Hitler, and that's, uh, super, but then again there are many many more that don't. It's somewhere between a Rorschach test and a crap shoot. For whatever reason there are people out there who submit photos of their cat in the hope that others will agree that it looks like history's most famous Charlie Chaplain mustache-owner/genocidal maniac. Does anyone else think that's kind of messed up?

Shouldn't we be gathering up kitchenware that looks like Hitler and burying it in the desert like a bunch of unsold Atari cartridges? Or in the case of the cats who look like Hitler...uh...shaving them or something? that juicer doing what I think it's doing?

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