It's Year of the Dovahkiin!

Happy Year of the Dragon! Yup, it's that inconsistent time of the year again when the lunar odometer rolls over to another animal, in this case the Dragon.

Have I mentioned that my sign is the goat? Have I mentioned that?

Pictured: China. I think maybe
there's some room in the back.

If you're thinking about having kids and want to give them a great start, not to mention a kick-ass Chinese Zodiac sign (unlike mine), better start making babies (if you're confused as to how, check out this recent post). According to the BBC, dangerously under-populated China is expecting a kind of dragon baby boom due to the auspiciousness of having a kid born under the dragon sign.


According to tradition, 'Dragons'  (or Dovahkiin if you're nerdy) are supposed to be energetic, charismatic and natural born leaders; basically the people we all secretly hate.

Have a child this year and not only will they be an energetic young go-getter,
but they'll also be able to absorb Dragon souls. You owe it to your kids.

Are you in the Yakuza? No?
Then what are you doing?

Anyway, how these personality traits link into flying fire-breathing sky-lizards is beyond me, but then Chinese Dragons are like totally different from things like Smaug and the Dungeons and Dragons monsters that we're most familiar with here in the west. For one thing, they tend to make for douchier tattoos. And for another they're not necessarily man-eating, peasant-roasting princess kidnappers. Instead they fly around dispensing luck and making it rain or something. Oh, and weirdly enough they don't have wings. They just sort of wriggle through the air, which is obviously bullshit. I mean how does that work? Telekinesis? Natural helium bladders? I mean come on.


Hey, you know what else?

If I'm doing the math correctly, in
China, this kid's like 24.

Speaking of Chinese customs that are different, get this. In China, instead of getting older on your birthday, everyone adds a year to their age every Chinese New Year. So if today is Chinese New Year, everyone who goes by the lunar calendar is one year older regardless of then their birthday is. Add to this the fact that in China when a person is born they're considered one year old. So if a baby was born yesterday, and today is Chinese New Years, he or she is considered two years old. Wow, I guess 1.3 billion people can be wrong. Oh well, Happy Birthday Everyone in China!

Above: A professional dragon wrangler leads a Chinese New Years parade.
Unfortunately, every year many unwanted dragons end up abandoned or simply flushed down the toilet
when they get to big for their owners to handle. Remember to have your dragon spayed or neutered.