It's pronounced 'Furk.'

It's not as if gayness is
new to Star Wars.

Can we stop calling anti-gay organizations 'pro-family'? They're not pro-family, they're just anti-gay and now one is even anti-space-gay. The Family Research Council (or FRC, see? Furk), a D.C.-based non-profit hate group with a fancy name that erroneously implies both authority and science, is throwing a tantrum because Bioware is releasing an update for Star Wars: The Old Republic that allows for same sex relationships (that's right, it turns out Wookies are for banging no matter what these guys say). So to clarify, The Family Research Council is upset that people playing a game can now have imaginary gay relationships with other people who are also pretending to live in the Star Wars universe. Holy shit, where to start.

Tony Perkins is very interested
in who's sticking what in whom.

I can not wrap my brain around why these Furks are so interested in other people's sex lives much less other people's pretend sex lives. Are they not satisfied with harassing people in the real world that they now have to extend their bullshit to video games? Behold this quote from FRC Prez. Tony Perkins:

"Since the announcement, homosexuals have been celebrating the news, but parents sure aren't. On the game's website, there are more than 300 pages of comments - a lot of them expressing anger that their kids will be exposed to this Star Warped way of thinking. You can join them by logging on and speaking up. It's time to show companies who the Force is really with."

-Tony Perkins, King of the Furks

First of all, The Force is an energy field that surrounds, binds and penetrates us. If that's not totally gay I don't know what is. Secondly, how likely do you think it is that this jackass has ever played an MMORPG? Thirdly what the shit is a 'Star Warped way of thinking?' Is that a play on Star Wars? Is he confusing warp drive with Star Wars? Is someone who thinks dinosaur bones were left by the devil to confuse us really accusing people who support equality of having a warped way of thinking?*

According to my Lady Schick, Tony Perkins' jerki-chlorian count is off the scale.

Although look how much fun these
kids are having rocking out for The Lord.

As a grown-up man-child who still plays video games, I am driven up the wall every time (yeah, it happens a lot) a pack of sanctimonious right-wing dickweeds chime in with some outrage about how something they don't understand or even care about doesn't jive with their worldview. I mean, I don't fly off the handle every time some niche publisher cranks out another 'Left Behind' game or Christianized knock-off of Guitar Hero. I just don't buy it. Maybe instead of complaining, Furk can come up with their own MMORPG, one that reinforces their belief system, like Holy Wars: Knights of the Old Crusade or Funeral Protesters Online (FPO to the cool kids).

Fun for the whole narrowly defined family!

*Probably.