Apparently the 'H' stood for Hipster.

Here's a fun fact: did you know that Jesus was a hipster? Oh yes, the first century rabble rouser who, some believe, was the son of/the same guy as (they're a little murky on this point) the almighty creator of the universe, was also somehow a hipster according recent research...and by research I mean marketing campaign.

Above: An artist's rendering which Biblical scholars
now agree is an accurate portrayal of Jesus of Nazareth.

Miracles include: turning water into PBR
and knowing where to find the cool parties.

Obviously a two-thousand year-old street preacher from Roman-occupied Judea would have had little in common with today's black rim glasses wearing, beskinnyjeaned millenials, so what gives? This poster gives (see right). AllStars? Wow, Jesus must have been a hipster...or a Time Lord. It's from the Roman Catholic Diocese of Brooklyn, and is part of the Church's attempt to re-brand Catholicism for the twenty-first century without having to do any of the hard stuff, like you know, admitting women priests, ditching the celibacy thing or getting over gay people. 

In Japan, Jesus is portrayed as a mecha-
pilot battling aliens in Neo-Jerusalem.

According to the Diocese's spokesperson:

"Historically, representations of Christ have reflected the population that was worshiping there...it doesn't seem to me so far-fetched that the representation of Christ would be a hipster. Jesus stood in contrast to the culture of his day, that's what a lot of hipsters do."

-Monsignor Kieran Harrington,

explaining white Jesus

Ok, so Brooklyn, a noted spawn point for hipsters, would naturally need a hipster Jesus, although I'm not sure shopping at Urban Outfitters really qualifies as standing in contrast to the culture of the day. Anyway, no matter what your feelings for the Catholic Church, you have to admit that the posters are a far cry from some of their previous recruitment drives.

"Hey, if you sign up I'll stop hitting you with this mace!"

-Some Crusader