Wednesday, May 4, 2011

...And also with you.

"A Star Trek holiday? Pfft. Dork."
Holy crap it's Star Wars Day! So like, happy Star Wars Day! I'm embarrassed to admit it, but this one kind of snuck up on me and I almost let it pass without comment. I'm a fan of spacey-things and made up holidays, so really, I should have this day marked on my calendar. The choice of May fourth is a sorta clever pun ('May the fourth be with you,' see? Cute huh?) so I have like, no excuse. But what I, and presumably tens of other Star Trek fans want to know is where's our holiday? (Ok, other than this one.)

My feelings? Expressed on a T-shirt?
What will they think of next?

Look, I like Star Wars. I do, but I've always been more of a Trekkie. It's not that the two are mutually exclusive. No matter how many nerd debates pit Borg against Jedi, there is certainly room in our geeky chest cavities for both. However there is among the both the mainstream and geek communities the perception that Star Wars fans are somehow cooler than Star Trek fans. To this I take great umbrage. Yeah, it's a little like saying Arnold Schwarzenegger's a better actor than Keanu Reeves but for years we trekkies have accepted our slightly lamer status with good nature, but why should we?

And while I'm at it,
Boba Fett: totally overrated.

I'm just going to say it: Star Trek is better. Yeah, I know it's apples and oranges, and yes, I realize the blasphemy of saying this on today of all days, but proportionately there are more good entries in the Star Trek canon than in the Star Wars canon. There was a time when Star Wars consisted only of three superb movies (and one ignominious Holiday Special) compared to three sometimes cheesy seasons of original Star Trek, the cartoon and the Wrath of Khan, but that was 1983. Since then, Star Wars has kinda suffered.

Sure this happened, but did you see
Episodes I-III?
Like I said, the holy trilogy is still pretty holy, but the CGI-marred re-releases were unnecessary and the three prequels are objectively garbage. Throw in the theatrically released animated movie and the original trilogy becomes the exception, not the rule. The Star Wars movies are between 65-75% crap. Sure, Star Treks 1, 5, 7, 9 and 10 are unwatchable to the average theater goer (i.e. non-trekkies). But that leaves 2, 3, 4, 6, 8 and 11. According to my math, at least 50% of Star Trek movies are good. Also, there's like 6 TV series. Sure, not every episode is Tapestry, or In the Pale Moonlight, but there's more good ones than bad.

Bea Arthur tending bar at the Mos Eisley Cantina was both the best
and worst moment of Star Wars outside the Original Trilogy.

So stand up and be proud my nerdish brothers and sisters, for our thing we're into is mathematically superior. No longer should we be ashamed to put on our pointy ears and strap on our tricorders! Well, maybe a little ashamed, but no more so than the people that showed up for the Star Wars prequel in costume to stage plastic lightsaber fights. I mean come on. Losers.

The carpets of Conference Room C at the airport Hilton came to know the
taste of nerd blood on that terrible day.

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