Thursday, February 18, 2016

Justin Keller: Startup synergy wizard!

They've been call a lot of things: worthless, wastes of space. Nobody seems to want them around and some have even accused them of ruining San Francisco. They're everywhere. You try to ignore them, not to make eye contact with them as you pass them on the street, but the fact of the matter is they're still a part of living in a city like traffic or naked protesters.
...or is that just a San Francisco thing?
Ok, second worst, right after
this guy. It's a crowded field.
Anyway, now one of them is taking a stand. A stand against homeless people. Tech company founder Justin-wait, hang on, did you think I was talking about homeless people? Because I meant those asshole startup company entrepreneurs who produce nothing, live like kings and drive up the rents making the city unlivable for anyone who works for a living. Specifically this guy, Justin Keller the founder of, and quite possibly the absolute worst person in America.

Stay strong Justin, stay strong...
What'd he do? He wrote an incredibly insensitive open letter to San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee asking him why he doesn't do something about all these poor people? Here, check it out, it's a treat. Just don't eat first, you might rage vomit.

"I've been living in SF for over three years and without a doubt it is the worst it's ever been. Every day, on my way to, and on my way from work I see people sprawled across the sidewalk, tent cities, human feces and the faces of addiction."  

-Justin Keller, tragic victim
of having to look at poor people

Another day in the old salt
mine, am I right guys? 
Keller goes on to describe a harrowing tale in which he and some out of town guests were just trying to enjoy some fine dining in the financial district when they came face to face with homeless people whose plight totally bummed them out. He then explained why San Francisco basically belongs to him and all the other hard working employees of the city's many tech companies and startups and that everyone else should either stop being so poor or just get out because, you know, the free market or something.

"Whoa, holy shit, have a heart..."
-Ayn Rand, not wanting a
 piece of Keller's philosophy
"I know people are frustrated about gentrification happening in the city, but the reality is, we live in a free market society. The wealthy working people have earned their right to live in the city. They went out, got an education, work hard, and earned it...I shouldn't have to see the pain, struggle and despair of homeless people to and from my way to work every day."

-Justin Keller, free market winner

They rode that bubble like Muad'Dib
on the Shai Halud. Sorry, it's not the
best analogy, I just really like Dune
So maybe he had a bad day and was venting his frustration in the dickiest way possible. Maybe he's actually a decent human being, and this screed was just the result of a night too many $18 cocktails. Whatever the cause, the internet is going to eat him alive today and I just hope he takes a breath and thinks about what he said. When he refers to gentrification, he's talking about how he and others with similarly ridiculous salaries rode the tech bubble into town, raised the cost of living exponentially and caused a lot of the evictions and misery he sees from his scooter on the way to work every morning. 

So, I don't want to tell Justin how to grow his brand or whatever, but maybe he could start a new company that turns some of that innovation and outside-the-box-ness that made his pretend industry so successful and help fix the problem he helped create instead of asking the people whose lives he ruined to get out of his sight. 
In an innovative move, Justin Keller of is the cause of the social
problem he's complaining about. It's what is known in the business world as synergy.

No comments:

Post a Comment