From Russia, With Copyright Infringement

Hey, did you know that there's a straight pride flag now? Yup, Russia's United Russia Party (a party for Russian unity) came up with one so that straight people have something to wave...you know, in case anyone forgets that straight people are a thing.

The flag celebrates traditional marriage and families,
so like, childless couples and single people can all go to hell.

Traditional Russian values,
like never smiling ever. 

"This is our response to same-sex marriage, to this mockery of the concept of family. We have to warn against gay-fever at home and support traditional values in our country....We are speaking of the traditional family. We mean the average standard Russian family that is ours: mother, father and three children."

-Andrei Lisovenko of the United Russia Party,

praising the uniquely Russian tradition of having 

children, and then feeling superior about it

Um, really? What about all their hilarious anti-gay laws? Remember when they flipped out about the milk cartons? Or the Olympics? Russia is a country where it's actually illegal to wave the rainbow flag or any other symbol that shirtless dough-boy and President Vladimir Putin considers 'non-traditional.' Freedom of expression-wise, Russia's kind of a hole. 

Above: Russian women committing a crime. I mean look
at that woman on the left. Even she can't believe this bullshit.

The Straight Pride Flag joins the police
baton as a symbol of Russian tradition.

So why then do they need a straight pride flag to respond to same-sex marriage? Which, by the way, is also illegal there. You know it's not often that we, as Americans, get to look down our noses at a European country on the issue of gay rights, but seriously? I know our Supreme Court's decision to throw out same-sex marriage bans was only like a couple of weeks ago, and we still totally have our share of homophobic jerks refusing to bake wedding cakes or change your oil, but in Russia demonstrating in favor of marriage equality gets you hit with sticks. What a country, right?

Pink huh? Seems a little
gay if you ask me...

Anyway, this whole thing is a tremendous bummer, so I think we should instead focus on the fact that the United Russia Party straight-up stole their stupid hate-flag from a French anti-marriage equality group. Yup, La Manif Pour Tous is a conservative group in France who've been protesting same-sex marriage for years and they're pissed that not only has United Russia ripped off their design, but that they claimed to have received permission, which they didn't.

Please, it's not the first time Russia
ganked someone else's idea...

"Since it is a political party, we would never have agreed to make a partnership with it...Also, we disagree with the way they use our flag. For us it is the flag of children's rights."

 

-Ludovine de le Rochère, 

President of La Manif Pour Tours

I'm sure we all feel for Ludovine. It's tough when some other homophobes steal your stupid flag for idiots. I mean, if you can't trust your fellow hate groups, who can you trust?

C'mon Russia, you guys used to fun.
(source: Street Fighter II)