Today in unrepentantly jerk moves...

Above: Pete Posthelwaite in the Jurassic
Park sequel looking surprised that anyone
remembers that he was in that one.

So Pete Posthelwaite has this line in Jurassic Park: The Lost World where he says-huh? Yes, I have an almost encyclopedic ability to recall lines from forgettable movies, anyway, he's playing a professional big game hunter who comes to the island to hunt dinosaurs because he was sick of being hired to take rich dentists on safari, which I never realized was a thing rich dentists really did until yesterday when it was announced that a rich dentist from Minnesota killed a beloved lion from a Zimbabwe nature preserve.

A move which he now regrets...sort of. It sounds like he doesn't so much regret killing the lion as he regrets the fact that people are upset about it. Besides, the whole thing is somebody else's fault. Behold:

Walter Palmer, lying through his perfectly
aligned and brilliant white teeth.

"To my knowledge, everything about this trip was legal and properly handled. I had no idea that the lion I took was a known, local favorite, was collared and part of a study until the end of the hunt. I retired on the expertise of my local professional guides to ensure a legal hunt...I deeply regret that my pursuit of an activity I love and practice responsibly and legally resulted in the taking of this lion."

-Walter Palmer, class act

Be vewy vewy quiet...we're
destwoying ewidence...

At the risk of jumping to conclusions based on like three articles I read on the internet and a pre-existing distaste for people who not only shoot animals for sport but who pay (in this case) $50,000 to do so, I'd like to call bullshit. Bullshit I say. First of all this lion, called Cecil, lived on a nature preserve. Palmer and the two guides he hired actually lured the creature to a spot half a mile a way so Nimrod could shoot him full of arrows like it's the goddamn bronze age. Then they destroyed a GPS collar the University of Oxford had tagged Cecil with as part of a study because hey, nothing shady going on here.

It's like the internet issued a plush fatwa.

So now Palmer's two guides from a company called Bushmen Safaris are being held by Zimbabwe-ian...Zimbabwen authorities? Authorities in Zimbabwe and will face criminal charges and probably prison time for poaching, but Palmer says he hasn't been contacted yet. So yeah, he'll probably be getting away with it. While it's a small bit of justice, there has been a brutal Twitter shaming, people are leaving stuffed animals at his practice and his Yelp page is entirely about how awful he is as a human being.

Ok, even if he didn't knowingly do anything illegal-which, c'mon he absolutely did-he's still an asshole who flies halfway around the world and pays what most people make in a year to be carted around in a Land Rover and shoot at animals. 

Bushman Safaris®:
"Helping dentists feel better about themselves since 1992."