МУTEФЯ! (That's Russian for Meteor!*)

*no it isn't.

A meteorite exploded over some city in Russia last night (well, this morning for them, their 'R's aren't the only thing they get backwards-oh burn!), and in addition to terrifying thousands and injuring hundreds with glass from shattered windows, it also illustrated why things like Armageddon are so full of shit.

Watch out Russians! While you're busy sweeping up the broken glass
and telling everyone what you were doing when the meteor exploded,
keep an eye on the mammals. They just live for opportunities like this.

Asteroids: not only is it more realistic
than Armageddon, the acting's better.

Um, to clarify, that's Armageddon, the 1998 asteroid disaster movie/Aerosmith music video and not the Biblical Day of Reckoning. The 'movie' Armageddon is about a rag-tag group of oil-rig workers being dragooned into NASA in order to drill into an asteroid and nuke'splode it before it collides with the earth. It was kind of terrible, but Steve Buscemi's in it, so there's that. Anyway, the asteroid fragments managed to hit Grand Central Station, Shanghai, Paris and the goddamn space shuttle, you know, in orbit.

"Merde de Bull!"

-French People

Look, know I've harped on this before, but the Earth is three quarters water. The other quarter that isn't water is mostly outlet malls, vast open spaces and places like Chelyabinsk, Russia, which Uranus, god of the sky, tried to smite early on Friday. Giant space rocks which have been hurtling though the void for millions if not billions of years crashing directly into the Champs Elysees, or Téa Leoni is ultra-ludicrous®. As Michael Bay movies go, Transformers: Dark of the Moon was actually more scientifically plausible, albeit bafflingly titled.

That said, it's still interesting to me that this isn't the first time Russia's been the target of divine space wrath. Back in 1908 an apparent meteor exploded over Siberia leveling 2,150 square miles of forest and giving The X-Files at least half a season hazily explained plot points. What have the gods got against Russian people anyway?

"Wat? I...how you say...suffer from shirt allergy."

-Shirtless Russian President Vladimir Putin,

demonstrating the proper way 

to punch a horse in the face