Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Plutocracy Now!

Did you know that there's a limit to how much electoral influence rich people are allowed to buy? Bullshit right? Well, don't worry plutocrats, the Supreme Court has got your back.
Won't somebody please think about the disgustingly wealthy?
"Tell momma I died for liberty, freedom,
and unlimited campaign donations!"
In a sequel to their 2010 Citizen's United decision which basically ruled that money is speech, the Supreme Court is getting ready to rule on whether or not the limit on how much a single person is allowed to donate per election cycle is unconstitutional. So how low is the cap? Hold on to your monocles: an individual can only donate up to $123,200, or about two and a half times the average household income in the U.S. That's right 2-percenters, there's a limit to how much power your fabulous wealth can wield over American politics, at least for now.

"Damnit, I never should have
voted for Baron Gingrich..."
Ok, but for serious, why is there a cap on campaign donations anyway? I mean, shouldn't rich people be allowed to buy elections if they want to? This is America. Well, I'm not an expert (I know, right?) but I suppose the rules are there to limit the influence of money in U.S. elections and keep us from devolving into an aristocracy where elected officials are beholden to a wealthy few and the rest of are reduced to powerless surfs toiling to prop up a system that's only perpetuating our exploitation...huh...

"I can buy and sell your ass! By
all rights, I should be your king!"
-Mitt Romney
Um, anyway, so I guess the cap is probably a good thing. But then what kind of jerks would want to get rid of the one thin shred of democracy that separates us from a 21st century Roman Empire? Oh, right, Republicans. Not content with simply redistricting their way back to power, the RNC is looking for new ways to stretch what support it does have, and since homophobes and straight, white, evangelicals with persecution complexes will only take them so far, it's up to the ultra-rich. After all, they're worth like ten of us, right?

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