Doctor Whaaah?

I'm no scientist, but I do know
that vampires don't whine. Fact.

Hey, look at this: American sci-fi is science-ier than British sci-fi! This according to bunch of British Sci-Fi authors who have written a letter to the Manchester Review to call attention to the science gap when it comes to fiction. The U.K., according to the writers, is falling behind the U.S. when it comes to the sci in sci-fi. Wait, what? Go us, I guess. I wonder however if they're even aware that the Sci-Fi/Fantasy sections at Barnes and Noble are now almost 85% Teen Paranormal Romance. Let's not tell them, ok?

Sure they gave us Shakespeare, but
what have they done for us lately?

Anyway, the writers are specifically complaining about the lack of scientific realism in British movies, television and books. Their goal is to inspire scientists and artists to work together to present science both compellingly and accurately. A laudable goal, but it's going to be an uphill battle. If we've learned anything from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the License to Print Money, it's that realism is for chumps (or in British: chumppes).


Look, I love me some Doctor Who but every time some confusing plot point is explained away as wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff or when evil is defeated through British stiff upper-lippedness and mad-cap whimsy I can kind of see where they're coming from.

"You may have an invincible army of genocidal Daleks at your command, but they're no match for
 cricket, room temperature beer and the joy a child feels on Boxing Day morning. Advantage: Doctor."

-The Doctor, winning

Above: math.

So why fight for more science in storytelling? Science can be bo-ring, and it can make people feel stupid. Remember Armageddon (the movie, not Jesus's Ragnarok)? No? Good. I'll refresh you. It's a movie about asteroids that only hit recognizable landmarks. Not to be a funssassin, but the Earth is three quarters water so the mathematical likelihood of rocks set in motion millions of years ago hitting a Space Shuttle, Grand Central Station and the Eiffel Tower all in one day is exactly centaur. So why does Michael Bay give our brains the finger with this and every movie he's ever made ever? Because he wanted to make something that people will pay to see. 

Captain Kirk: An interstellar
grab-bag of alien STD's.

But maybe these guys are on to something, maybe it's time we (British and normal people alike) demanded smarter sci-fi. Maybe it's time we stood up and called bullshit on TIE Fighters swooshing in the vacuum of space, bullshit on whatever the hell Red Matter was, and bullshit on aliens who despite evolving on entirely different planets are not only sexually compatible with humans, but also need us to teach them about this thing we call love. 

And why the hell not? We're living in a world where Emily Deschanel solves crime with holograms and people are still fighting over whether or not evolution or magic should be taught in science classes. If ever there was a time to step up the smartness, it's now. 

Next time on Bones: The crime lab is turned upside down when
the Hologram becomes sentient and runs amok. Also, jetpacks.