Sunday, April 8, 2012

Yes, lesbians are exactly like unicorns.

"I've just got a feeling
about those two."
In other 'what's up with Maryland and gay people?' news, two Maryland women are waiting to hear from a State Court of Appeals whether or not they can start dating again. Jessica Port and Virginia Cowan were married in California during it's brief flirtation with the 21st century but it didn't work out, so they filed for divorce (like a lot of people do) in 2010. Judge A. Michael Chapdelaine however, didn't feel like granting it and instead told them this:

"The court finds that to recognize the alleged marriage would be contrary to the public policy of Maryland to grant it [the divorce]" 
-Alleged Judge A. Michael Chapdelaine


Yup, an anti-gay judge is refusing to end a gay marriage on the grounds that doing so would imply the existence of the marriage in the first place. It's a little like refusing to step out of the way of a rampaging herd of unicorns because doing so would acknowledge a belief in unicorns and their graceful beauty.
That was less about the analogy and more about the unicorns.
So majestic, so powerful...I call them Surfrider and Heartstorm,
and they have shown me that friendship can overcome any challenge.

Legal experts agree: 'Ehhhh...?'
But if Maryland doesn't allow same-sex marriages, how can he dissolve one? That's an excellent question, and I'm glad I pretended you asked. Maryland already recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other states, and some judges have granted same-sex divorces. And some haven't. The law is sort of, you know, 'whatever' on the subject. So tough luck ladies, by sheer chance you happened to get a judge who thinks your marriage is just pretend so he can't even be bothered to put it asunder. 


It's bad enough these women had to go to the other side of the country to get married, but now have to put their lives on hold again because some judge doesn't like gay people? That's some bullshit. Can't we just make same-sex marriages legal everywhere? At least until they come up with a better argument against it than it somehow harms opposite-sex (or vanilla) marriage?
"Oh Yeah? Well maybe I wouldn't have to drink so much if gay people
 weren't allowed to get married! Did you ever think of that?"

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