This Post is Full of Spoilers.

Bungler? You fail again, internet.

No really, be careful, I'm going to ruin some surprises for you (specifically, and in order they are: Oedipus Rex, Downton Abbey Season 4 and for no reason, Fight Club). Consider this a spoiler of spoilers, and yes I realize there's a measure of irony in complaining about someone dropping spoilers in a complaint about spoilers. Also, I'd like to apologize in advance for the over-use of the word 'spoiler.' It can't be helped. Since caring about spoilers is only like 30 years old, the thesaurus is a little light on other options.

The ancient Greeks for example had no concept of the Spoiler. In fact, Oedipus Rex's
original title was 'Holy Shit, This Dude Boned His Mom and Then Gouged Out His Own Eyes!'

Although I am keeping my
fingers crossed for season 3.

You ready for the thing that pissed me off? Here it is. Click at your own peril. Apparently Maggie Smith is leaving Downton Abbey and the writers will probably be killing her off and-what? I watch Downton Abbey, ok? Yes, I know it's a sumptuous period piece about class difference set against the turmoil of Edwardian England and yes, I realize it is unlikely to feature robots or aliens anytime soon. I don't care, it's amazing. And for the record, I totally was into it before it was cool. Anyway, as I was saying: holy shit guys, for real?

Sorry, were you watching that?

Has no one at MSNBC never heard the expression 'spoiler alert?' I mean the spoiler is contained in the headline on the goddamn homepage, you can't not read it. While Maggie Smith putting in her two-weeks notice (or the famous-people equivalent) is arguably news, was it really necessary to tell us her character will die? I mean, for all we know she could get a recording contract and move to Nashville or marry President Taft. But now? No mystery: Dowager Crawley's gonna kick next season.

Isn't it kind of common courtesy to warn readers before needlessly giving away plot points? I'm not alone on this am I?

It would be exactly like this.

Above: The novel of the
movie of the comic. Ow...

p.s. The title of this post is a reference to This Book is Full of Spiders, the not-yet-out-follow-up to John Dies at the End by David Wong, which I read recently and found both unsettling and delightful. You should read it too. Incidentally, I want to make it clear that while I was into it after it was cool I did read it before the movie so at least I'm not that guy. You know, the guy at Starbucks sheepishly trying to cover the 'now a major motion picture' edition of whatever book they're reading. That's just embarrassing.