The Honorable Judge Gaylord T. Mankiss

"Fuck yeah! In your face, equality!" 

-Prop 8 supporters 

Look, I love me some Democracy. It's swell. But can we stop putting civil rights up for a vote? There is a reason we have a legislative process: In addition to giving political lawn-sign makers something to do, it's also designed to protect people from the whims of mob rule. Remember the time California finally passed a marriage equality bill and then some well-funded homophobes with absolutely no standing convinced a narrow margin of voters that they shouldn't not vote 'no' to not un-extending marriage to gays and lesbians?

Yeah, like that. Well, now a group in Maryland is going to try and sink the state's same-sex marriage bill with a referendum. They're called the Maryland Marriage Alliance and they're all that stands between you and 'efforts to mandate gay marriage.' 

'I now pronounce you gay-married. You must now kiss the groom, and it'd better be hot.'

-Judge Gaylord T. Mankiss

Well gay people, I hope you're happy.

As you can imagine, they suck. In addition to completely made-up threats of people being legally compelled to have hot, Takei-sex within the bonds of holy matrimony, the MMA also warns Marylanders of the grim future that awaits them when the wedding industry is forced to accept millions of dollars in new revenue, cakes are topped with two grooms and school children are taught that there are gay people in the world.

As a devout Vulcantologist (it's a religion I made up this week), I believe in the idea that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, but there's no need here. The Maryland Marriage Alliance doesn't need gay people to be treated like crap under the law, they just want that because they're jerks. If they're asking for a show of hands on other people's marriages, shouldn't they have a better reason than 'we'd have to change all the dictionaries?'

Hey, look it that, Merriam-Webster.com already includes same-sex marriage within the definition
of marriage and civilization hasn't collapsed into Thunderdome-esqe barbarism. How 'bout that?