Opposite Day: Still Not Real

Does the President know that opposite day isn't a day? I ask because he recently declared February to be Black History Month, which is already a thing, and I wonder if maybe he's unfamiliar with how observances work. I mention this because of this tweet he sent out-yes, another tweet. It's a gold mine:

No thanks? Well, at least he's politely
lying to our faces...well, to our twitter feeds...

Above: The exact opposite of what
 the President said. Exact opposite.

Um, ok, so like none of this is correct. First of all, while there is growing support among Democrats for universal healthcare and we all wish there was more, that's not the same thing as saying the Democrats are pushing for it. As for thousands of Britons marching in the streets over healthcare, that's technically true, but they're marching to get more funding for it because it's awesome and exactly no one wants to privatize it. He kind of makes it sound like they're marching to get rid of it and that's not the case-

-hey wait, you don't suppose the President is trying to deliberately mislead us, do you? I mean that would be totally out of character. He is, after all, been nothing but honest and forthright with us since assuming office and-sorry, sorry, I can't even get through that. He could tweet that water is wet and I'd still want an independent study.

"So far it checks out, but I'd still like to run a
few more tests. You never know with this guy..."

-Some scientist

"It's only illegal when a Democrat lies.
When we do it, it's because we love America."

-noted adulterer Newt Gingrich

Shouldn't the President lying to us be, I don't know, illegal? And yes, I know that there are times when keeping something from the public is necessary, but I'm talking about saying demonstrably false things in the interests of political gain. That has to be against the law, right? No? You're sure it's-ok...it just sounds like it should be is all. I mean, didn't we have to sit through months of Republicans crowing about how Bill Clinton lied about an affair? How come the former host of The Apprentice can straight up lie to us about something as verifiably false as Britons marching in support of the NHS?

"No, not deliberately. Screwing you
over is just a happy coincidence."

-Paul Ryan

I mean holy shit, if it's not going to be illegal to lie to us, can we at least pass a law about insulting our intelligence? Like, look at that last bit about the Democrats just wanting to raise taxes and stick us all with terrible healthcare. I mean what as ass. I get that it's just political rhetoric, or bullshit as it's more popularly know, but for crying out loud, even I'm willing to admit that Republicans-ok, some Republicans, are trying to do what they honestly believe is best for the country. They're wrong, like almost every single time, but they're not monsters who set out to deliberately screw us over.

Anyway, transparent rhetoric aside, the blustery, objective falsehoods blurted out into the world every time he picks up his goddamn phone has to stop. It has to.

"Mmmm...no."

-President and noted mass murder  of

 adorable puppies, Donald Trump