|Kinkos that'll do large-format signs?|
|Pictured: A traditional cake topper,|
as demanded by Jesus. In the Bible.
If you guessed that all those states have laws that discriminate against the LGBTQ community, you're right! So...congratulations? Holy shit, right? How are lawmakers in these states writing, voting on and then passing laws that allow Americans to be discriminated against based on things like sexual orientation, gender identity? Things like North Carolina's bathroom bill and those preposterous laws that say that bakers can refuse to make a wedding cake if the penis to vagina ratio of the couple getting married doesn't line up with their religious worldview?
How is this shit still happening? We live in the 21st century, aren't we past all this 1950's closed-minded, backwards, bigoted, horseshit yet?
|"Wait a minute, discrimination? In America? Whaaaa?"|
-people of color, women
and seniors, sarcastically
|"Everything looks up to code, but|
I'm afraid I'm still going to need
to see a birth certificate."
The answer, of course, is no. Except for here in California. Those states I mentioned earlier? They're on California's travel ban list which today added Alabama, Kentucky, South Dakota and Texas for a total of 8 states. It's sort of like that other travel ban except not racist. It's also not super-effective as it only applies to state-funded travel. So if you feel like piling the kids into the car and checking out South Dakota's 'gay parents need not apply' adoption agencies or North Carolina's rigidly enforced 'assigned sex at birth' bathrooms, nobody's stopping you.
|Could you put a price on |
Rob Schneider's talent?
Officials from the new minted no-go states were understandably upset. Texas Governor and noted reproductive biologist Greg Abbott had this to say:
"California may be able to stop their state employees, but they can't stop all the businesses that are fleeing over taxation and regulation and relocating to Texas..."
-Greg Abbott, still a dick
Yes, businesses like Rob Schneider's vitamin company which the actor, comedian and anti-vaccination evangelist said he was taking out of state back in 2013 because Democrats ruined his career.
|Above: Typical West Coast liberals,|
seen here punishing conservatives by
supporting equality for all Americans.
Like a bunch of fascists.
The loss of the star of The Hot Chick was, as you can imagine, a blow, but it was a spokesperson for Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin whose remarks cut most deeply:
"It's fascinating that the very same West Coast liberals who rail against the President's executive order that protects our nation from foreign terrorists, have now contrived their own travel ban aimed at punishing states who don't fall in lockstep with their far-left political ideology."
-Governor Bevin's easily
|The travel ban could cost the Hunstville, AL|
Super 8 literally tens of dollars in lost revenue.
I don't mean to quibble, but the President's executive order was a blanket ban on anyone who has the misfortune of being from a country arbitrarily selected by the former host of The Apprentice for being to Muslim-y. And in addition to being Islamophic, it was also like, completely unconstitutional. California's travel ban applies only to state officials and prevents them from using tax money to travel to certain states. And it's not a punishment for those states listed, it's a protest.
Specifically a protest against the homophobic bills people like Abbott and Bevin have signed into law. Laws that are designed to make straight white Christians with persecution complexes feel better about themselves at the expense of civil liberties and fairness for LGBTQ people in these states. So Abbott, Bevin and the lawmakers involved aren't the victims here. They're the, what's the phrase? Oh yeah, red state shit merchants? Yes, they're the red state shit merchants who live to make people's lives miserable.
|It's just our way of saying that while California has |
its problems, at least we don't listen to guys like this.