Today in lingering shreds of self-respect...

At the risk of falling back on the tired internet cliche of linking to something and just saying 'this,' without further explanation, I say to you now: This. I mean, holy shit. Did you click on it?

Because you're going to want to see this for yourself.

The cabinet rap battles in Hamilton
are less rehearsed than today's meeting.

I'll sum up just in case you don't, but you should really click on it and marvel at today's cabinet meeting. It wasn't so much a cabinet meeting as it was a thinly-veiled press event wherein everyone in the room burst out into completely unprompted and surprisingly un-ironic praise for President Trump. It's...what's the phrase? Stomach-churning? Each one in turn blubbers about how great he is at presidenting and how lucky and thrilled America is to have him which is kind of weird since most of us didn't vote for him and more of us than ever think he's doing a shitty, terrifying job. Like, the worst.

It's eleven minutes of sycophantic gushing and begs the question, 'how stupid does he think the American people are?' 

Oh, right. Incredibly...

"Pwahahahha!"

-Me, listening to DeVos

UN Ambassador Nikki Haley hails this as '...a new day at the United Nations, Tom Price called it an incredible honor to be in change of the Department of Health and Human Serves under Trump's exciting leadership and Betsy DeVos went on about what a great privilege it is to serve the children of this country and make sure that everyone has an equal shot at a great education which is hilarious coming from her. Eric Mulvaney just straight-up launched into an completely un-selfconscious political ad about the budget:

Either Eric Mulvaney actually believes
the bullshit he's spewing or he missed his
true calling on the stage, because goddamn.

"Thank you Mr. President for your kind words about the budget, you're absolutely right, we are going to be able to take care of the people who really need it. And at the same time, with your direction we were also able to focus on the forgotten man and woman who are the folks who are paying those taxes. And we appreciate your direction and support in putting that budget together."

-Eric Mulvaney, Office of

Management and Budget

Above: Chief of Staff Reince Priebus
staring lovingly upon the golden visage
of our most gracious President.

But the cherry on this preposterous shit sundae that I can not fathom anyone, anyone taking seriously in any way, had to be when Reince Priebus actually says with a straight face:

"We thank you for the opportunity and blessing to serve your agenda."

-Words that actually came out of

Reince Priebus's his word-face

"Blah! I must feed upon the constant
validation and approval of others..."

On one hand I'm insulted by these people and their transparent attempt to convince the rest of us that the shitshow of a Presidency that is the Trump administration is actually awesome. That the angry tweet factory we've had foisted upon us is, in truth a bold new leader who totally won't destroy whatever remains of America's credibility. But I'm also embarrassed, deeply embarrassed at the way they each gushed about the former host of The Apprentice while he sat there, soaking it in like some kind of depressing emotional vampire who can only subsist on the adoration of idiots.

So I guess my question is do you suppose the cabinet members still possess the ability to feel shame and are just really good at forcing it down or do you think they take some kind of pill that suppresses the part of the brain responsible for self-evaluation?

Pictured: The President basking in effusive praise of the people that work for him.
Not pictured: the last lingering shred of self-respect of anyone in the room.