|Iraq, whose entire economy is based |
on fossil fuels is on board with the
Paris Agreement. Iraq. But not us.
What's our excuse? Uh, coal industry jobs and the firm belief on the part of Trump voters that climate change is an elaborate hoax on the part of the entire scientific community, China and oh, let's say Satan. Because if there's one thing we should be basing environmental policy on it's the viability of the 19th century's most important energy source.
|I suppose future generations living in the waterless wasteland of the future|
can take solace in the fact that the coal industry didn't have to budge.
|Why are these people applauding?|
Are they listening to some other speech?
-Trump speaking to what I presume is a carefully
vetted crow of sycophants and coal company execs
|Because I'm not sure fine is the word...|
"So we're getting out, but we will start to negotiate and we will see if we can make a deal that's fair. If we can, that's great. And if we can't that's fine."
-Donald Trump on the
possibility of re-negotiating the-
wait, is it though? Fine I mean?
|Above: Donald Trump forever |
yielding any claim on solemnity.
|And then we returned the favor.|
"Tonight I wish to tell the United States: France believes in you, the world believes in you. I know that you are a great nation. I know your history, our common history."
-French President Emmanuel Macron referring
to that time they helped us kick out the British
|Packed. You think I'm joking but...|
"To all scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs, responsible citizens who were disappointed by the decision of the president of the United States, I want to say that they will find in France a second homeland..."
-Emmanuel Macron saying
that-hold the phone, did he
just invite us all to France?
Holy shit, really? Sure, sudden influxes of immigrants into France haven't gone over super well with that country's xenophobe-crowd, but fuck them, they lost the election to Macron. Of course, he probably means 'second home' in some kind of metaphorical sense...right?
|But just in case he's serious, what's French for dibs?|
|"I don't see what everyone's problem is,|
I mean climate change will take years..."
-Donald Trump, age 70
Other countries aren't going to bend on this issue just because our technical president is throwing a tantrum. And while moving to France sounds pretty awesome, and I totally appreciate President Macron's completely serious invite, I think I'm going to stick around, at least for the time being. I mean, Trump is the one who's under investigation for collusion with Russia, trying to dismantle everyone's health insurance and today just alienated everyone who isn't a coal miner or an idiot. So I don't know, maybe we can just wait him out?
|Although if the GOP manages to restrict voting to coal|
miners and idiots, we might be in trouble next election.