Monday, May 4, 2015

Rick Santorum does not deserve a cookie.

"Yes I would! Oatmeal raisin."
"If he says he's a woman, then he's a woman..."

-Rick Santorum, no really,
those words came out of his mouth

Yes, Rick Santorum, speaking at a roundtable discussion in South Carolina (the Bible Beltiest Carolina®) has granted former Olympian Bruce Jenner his permission to be transgendered. And now I suppose he'd like a cookie or something.

Come on Rick, isn't there some way
that the earthquake was Jenner's fault?
Santorum, who name is a synonym for sex froth and for whom being a dick to the LGBT community is like 80% of his political platform, was, for some reason, asked by a BuzzFeed reporter to weigh in on Jenner's coming out. Presumably everyone was hoping for some of his trademark crazy but instead they got a weirdly live and let live answer. Where's the judgement? The out-of-context Leviticus quotes? I don't know about you, but there's something comfortable about Republicans foaming at the mouth and raving about Sodom and Gomorrah and pillars of salt. When they start to sound rational, I worry.

Santorum went on to say that his "responsibility as a human being is to love and accept everybody. Not to criticize people for who they are." Leaving many in attendance asking where is the real Rick Santorum, and what has he done with him.
Above: The most plausible explanation.
Oh, and because this is a room full of conservatives talking about transgender issues, somebody had to ask which bathroom Jenner should use now and yes, Santorum had and answer and yes, it was the most Republicany answer he could have come up with:
Is he running for President of the bathroom?
No? Then why is anyone asking him about this?

"I haven't got into the whole issue, and I don't think the federal government should get into the whole issue of bathrooms...I think those are things that the business community and local agencies and organizations should deal with."

-Rick Santorum demonstrating
his uncanny ability to shoehorn
state's rights into any conversation

He's not saying he supports the transgendered,
just that he acknowledges that they are technically
people. Which for Republicans, is downright mushy.
So why the sudden change of heart? Or, more to the point, why the sudden heart? Don't worry sex-froth fans, Rick hopped on Facebook yesterday to clarify his position:

"Many of you may have read a story published by the website BuzzFeed where I was asked for my thoughts regarding Bruce Jenner. My comment affirmed Jenner as a person, made by God in His likeness as we all are. It was meant to express empathy not a change in public policy. #compassion"

See? Santorum was just affirming Bruce Jenner's personhood, and not saying that if elected he would do anything to, you know, help transgendered people or in anyway look out for them. Wow. I don't know, it seems like there may be something seriously wrong with your politics and the people who share them when you have follow up expressions of empathy and human kindness with a disclaimer so nobody thinks you've gone soft.
"Don't worry guys, ol'Rick still thinks those godless deviants are all going to hell."
#sexfroth

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