Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Today in newsworthy sneezes:

This. Go on, click on it. It's as disgusting as you think it'll be. A fifty-one year-old man in England sneezed with such force that he dislodged a rubber suction cup from a toy dart that had been lurking, unbeknownst to him, somewhere in his sinuses for 40 years. If it sounds like I'm impressed by this, I am, but only because it's somehow news.
See? Right there under the story about the
unrelenting human disaster unfolding in Nepal.
Pictured: Steve Easton and the thing
he sneezed out and then felt
compelled to share with the world. 
"It was a very strange sensation so I retrieved it to examine it..." 

-Steve Easton, 51, talking to the BBC 
about what just came out of his nose

Ok, a foreign object comes rocketing out of your nose, so you examine it. I get that. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to do. But why did he then inform the press? What made him think that anything he found in his handkerchief would be newsworthy?

What? Don't look at me like that. It's the
plural of Doctor Who. Like mothers in law. 
I mean, at best this is an inspirational story about a nine-year old in the 70's who used to cram his toys up his nose yet managed to become a functioning adult. If there's anything remarkable here, it's that he didn't suffer some kind of brain damage. Like, you'd think he'd be reluctant to admit to that this hunk of dried out rubber was in his head through ten Doctors Who without his knowledge, but no, he called the BBC. Which brings up an even more unsettling question:

Why does the BBC care about this guys nose-find? If he sneezed out say, a horde of Viking gold or Richard III's bones, that would be news. But for some reason a rubber suction cup was good enough for the people who covered the Blitz to send a crew? Was it a slow day?
"Good evening. We interrupt our coverage of the invasion at Normandy
to bring you this important update about objects people have stuck up their noses..."

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