Today in people who should stop talking:

You know, it's about time some
white guys weighed in on abortion.

Oh lord. It's a weekday so you know what that means. Yup, another Republican has opened his talk-hole on the subject of abortion. This time at an Indiana Senatorial debate, behold:

"I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. I think that even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen."

-Indiana Senatorial Candidate and
noted theologian Richard Mourdok

If you're ever out drinking with
The Lord, keep an eye on your drink.

Um...so I'm confused, is he saying that God causes rape to happen, or just the rapes that result in pregnancy? I'm no biblical scholar, but traditionally, if God wants to create a child doesn't He just do it the old fashioned way? Like with midichlorians or something? Since when does He have to rely on some college asshole with a ziplock full of roofies? Also, there's sort of an implication here that rapists are somehow doing God's work. Is it just me or is that really fucked up?

"What would Richard Mourdock do?"

-Frightened teen

And what does Mourdok mean when he says that he struggled with it for a long time? I assume he means he's struggled with his views on abortion and rape because no where on his website does he mention ever being impregnated against his will. I'm just pointing this out because I think it's important to keep in mind when weighing his contribution to the discussion. It's not that I think we menfolk can't have an opinion about abortion, I'm just suggesting that people who've never had to make a decision about it shut up a little when it comes to condemning people who have.

Above: the gene responsible for
meaningless political distraction.

But you know what? I blame us for this. All of us. Not for Richard Mourdok being an idiot, that's probably genetic, but for the fact that we, as a culture, put him in the position to wax stupid in front of a microphone in the first place. Why the hell do we still ask politicians to chime in on something that's been established law since 1973? Aren't they supposed to be letting people know where they stand on issues that will come up in the Senate? Roe v. Wade isn't up for discussion. Is it?

Um...it isn't is it? Like, for real, if it is, then this whole damn election cycle needs to be about it, it can not be just a one off question on Richard McBushybrows' OK Cupid profile.

Incidentally, Sam Waterston called. He'd like his eyebrows back. Burn.

Update: The Rewordening

"Stop talking. No. Stop
talking Richard. Shut it."

-God

Needless to say, Mourdok quickly tried to walk back his comment saying: 

"God does not want rape, and by no means was I saying that He does. Rape is a horrible thing, and for anyone to twist my words otherwise is absurd and sick."

-Richard Mourdok, heroically coming out against rape

So, to clarify: when Mourdok said that pregnancies resulting from rape '[are] something that God intended to happen' what he actually meant was...um...they're not something that God intended to happen...clear? Holy shit, maybe everyone should stop talking for God. Sound good?