I'd totally vote for a level 85 Orc.

Are you longing for the good old days when kids played stick ball and poked dead bodies by the train tracks instead of rotting away in front of the computer games?

Ahh...simpler times. Sure, sexual harassment and racial segregation were commonplace,
but ahh...simpler times. Also, everyone smoked and put way too much butter on everything.
Oh, and polio was a thing. Hey, you know what? The good old days kind of sucked...

Swearing? On the internet?
How fucking dare she!

In an effort to show us how hip conservatives are, Maine Republicans have latched on to state senate candidate Colleen Lachowicz's MMORPG hobby. What the shit is a MMORPG? It's a massively multiplayer online RPG. Huh? Sigh...role playing game. Anyway, yes, Colleen Lachowicz plays World of Warcraft and she posts on Daily Kos and she says swear words. A grown up playing a video game? A liberal expressing liberal opinions on a liberal blog? Outrageous!

Made with loathing, frosted by rage.

Fortunately, the GOP is getting the word out. To that end they have set up a website where conservatives (assuming they can get their kids to turn on the internets for them) can read all about the bizarre double life Lachowicz leads online. It's called 'Colleen's World' and it kind of suggests that Lachowicz, and by extension all people who play video games, are incapable of telling the difference between games and real life. As you can imagine, this frosts my cookies.

Santiaga claims she was born in Azeroth,
but refuses to show a birth certificate.

"Colleen Lachowizc, AKA Santiaga, is a gamer in the massively multiplayer online role-playing game World of Warcraft (WoW), which takes place in the make-believe land Azeroth. Today, Colleen/Santiaga is an orc assassin rogue playing at level 85. She and the members of her "Wreck List Guild"--Colleen/Santiaga's WoW online alliance--post comments to each other on liberal online forums including the Daily Kos..."

-From Colleen's World. Imagine it being read

by the guy that voices negative political ads.

You know, nine million people play World of Warcraft. Nine million. In other fun facts, almost half of all U.S. homes have a game console, the average gamer is 30 years old and 47% of them are women. So can we all please agree that games aren't just for anti-social shut-ins? Sure, we're a significant percentage, but still...

Republicans are already suggesting that Santiaga's high level and
XP numbers have been inflated by the Obama administration.