Monday, September 10, 2012

Star 2rek: Heart of Dorkness

Relax, colons are
nothing to be afraid of.
Hold on to your crochet Dalek hats internet, this nerd's about to express a nit-picky opinion about Star Trek. Specifically about the title for the new Star Trek movie. It's just been unofficially announced. Ready? Here it is: Star Trek Into Darkness. Wait, wuh? Yeah. No number, no colon, just Star Trek Into Darkness. Like it's a thing you go do. "Hey Tim, wanna go star trek into some darkness?" Star Trek Into Darkness. Really. Roll it around in your mouth for a minute. Taste that? No, it's not just you, it is kind of terrible, like objectively terrible. It's a terrible title, there's just no way around it.

Incidentally, Star Trek: The Colorform set
did have better pacing and was downright
action-packed compared to ST: TMP.
That's not to say the twenty or thirty previous Star Trek movies have all had great titles. I mean, the first one was slapped with the generic Star Trek: The Motion Picture, presumably to avoid confusion with Star Trek: The Colorform Set. The third movie was The Search for Spock, even though they just sort of stumbled upon him 5 minutes in. Hell, part nine was called Star Trek: Insurrection and if your juvenile brain didn't just replace the word 'insurrection' with 'erection' I don't think we have anything left to discuss. The point is it's not like screenwriters Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman had a tough act to follow.

There's still time to come up with something better, although they did register a bunch of websites for the name, so it's pretty for sure. Sigh. Oh well, I guess if it's a decent movie then it doesn't really matter what the title is. Some really good movies have had really bad titles...right? On the other hand for every The Dark Knight Rises there's like a half dozen X-Files: I Want To Believe's. Anyway, fingers crossed.



"Hey Alex, pass me the blow will ya?
We've got a title to come up with."

Hey, I know it's probably too late for this, but here's a couple of title suggestions which, while not good, are all better than Star Trek Into Darkness. Please feel free to add your own:

Star Trek 2: Trek Harder
Star Trek: The Rise of Taj
Star Trek 2: Electric Tribbeloo



Oh, and here's an old chestnut from way back:

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