What's up with Europeans?

"Zat's eet Kate, take eet off, Jean-Paul
has etudent loans to pay..."

-Typical French journalist

So I'm a little conflicted about this whole Kate Middleton thing. On the one hand, she's only famous because she married a dude whose greatest accomplishment is being the grandson of a woman who was crowned the Queen of England in recognition of her stunning achievement of being born (got all that?) and now she'll spend the rest of her life living in a palace and waving at the rest of us losers. On the other hand, some heavy breather with a telephoto lens lurking in a hedge snapped pictures of her sunbathing and sold them to a magazine and that's not cool.

The French tabloid Closer published the photos because, you know, they're douche bags (which is somewhat less insulting in French because 'douche' just means 'shower') and now they're all over the internet. There's even an Italian magazine that's going to devote a 26 page special to the pics. 26 pages, and she only has the two breasts (that we know of).

What else could she be hiding?

"Kate Middleton's breasts:
the people have a right to know."

-Closer Magazine

So what is up with Europe? I thought they were all well adjusted and blasé about the human body. Italy and France are practically pants-optional, so why is everyone scrambling to be the first to publish blurry photos of Royal jubblies? I guess it would be news if her breasts were selling state secrets, but that's not super-likely. All that's going on here is a Duchess wanted to avoid tan lines and relied on the remoteness of her chateau and common human decency to protect her privacy. Congratulations Closer, you actually made us feel sorry for a woman with chateau access.