Hey everyone, it's Year of the Jackass!

"Oh yeaaaah! Drink this in
remembrance of me!"

Oh man, what is it with athiest groups anyway? Like, can they even hear themselves? Before you ask if I drank the communion Kool-Aid, I should clarify that I'm not leaping to the defense of Bible-thumpers because I fear the wrath of some all-powerful cloud-jockey in the sky and I'm not talking about individual atheists or their perfectly valid observation that if there is a supreme being it's gone way out of its way to remain anonymous. What I am talking about is a group of Atheists who got together and put up a billboard suggesting that religion is a form of slavery. Because that's constructive.

"We're just comparing everyones most cherished beliefs to the centuries of
chattel slavery endured by millions of people. What's offensive about that?"

-Americanatheists.org's head of Public Relations

about three minutes before clearing out his desk 

"C'mon seven! Baby needs a
carbon-based life form!"

Guys for real, we've talked about this. If you want to make a case for why you think the universe is a cold, godless expanse with no more meaning than a cosmic crap shoot, then do it. More often than not, the evidence is on your side. On the other hand if you want to come off like a pack of smug douchebags then by all means keep doing what you're doing. Isn't atheism supposed to be about science and rationalism? Insisting that you know for an absolute fact that there's no higher power and that people are wasting their time 'doing unto others' kind of undermines your point.

Of course Pennsylvania Jesus-fans aren't completely blameless themselves. The group, Americanatheists.org, was upset by the Pennsylvania House of Representatives declaring 2012 "The Year of the Bible." Sure, the resolution doesn't have the force of law, but it is like the entire House got together to tell non-Christian Pennsylvanians that they're going to hell. Because that's also constructive. Sigh.

"Look, as legislators it's our job to pass laws, levy taxes, manage the State's budget and
to remind everyone that Jesus is the King of America and all who oppose him will
writhe in the Lake of Fire for all eternity. I don't see what everyone's problem is."

-Rick Saccone, Pennsylvania House of Representatives, 39th District

on why the bill he sponsored is a valid use of the Government's time. 

Ben Franklin: 18th century fex-machine 

The bill's sponsor, Representative Rick Saccone, points out that many important figures in American history have been keen on the Christain holy book and that's super. But the fact that Benjamin Franklin kept a Bible in the nightstand while banging French prostitutes is not a liscense to use the apparatus of Government to shove religion down our throats. Atheists in Pennsylvania have every reason to be outraged. So do Pennsylvania's many Jews, Muslims, agnostics, Christians and really everybody who understands that church + state = shit like the Crusades. What did Rick think would happen?

That's how you win hearts and minds.

Similarly, Americanatheists.org has to understand that people tend to get upset when you put up a 14' by 48' billboard announcement about how they're wrong to believe in things. What about that ad made those behind it think it was a good idea? Was it the racial overtones? Was it the implication that religious belief is a relic of the bronze-age and that only non-believers are intellectually mature? Yes, the 'Year of the Bible' bill is a dick move, but so's the ad.


I'm not saying I think either side is right here, or that one side started it but I would suggest that maybe the reason Americanathiests.org is acting like a petulant teenager thumbing his nose at religion is that religious folks are kind of asking for it by setting themselves up as an out-of-touch authority figure on a power trip. Maybe everyone involved could try acting like adults here?

If Americanathiests.org is Judd Nelson and religious people are Mr. Vernon, does
that make Molly Ringwald Scientology? Oh, and Ally Sheedy would be the Agnostics.

Also, on a side note... 

2012 is already the Year of the Dragon. It can't be two things so if it came down to a fight, who are you going to bet on? A highly-flammable book of rules about how you should stone your wife to death if she wears the wrong kind of cloth or eats shellfish on Sunday? Or is your money on the flying lizard with sword-proof scales and a penchant for burning down villages with its fire-breath? 

It's also important to note that Dragons are awesome,
and that's why people play D&D instead of Bibleopoly.