Trifecta!

Hey everyone, a rich Republican has an opinion about what women should do with their bodies! Herman Cain, pizza magnate, baptist minister, and expert on gayness, is coming down on the side of no abortions ever, even in cases of rape, incest, and when the mother's life is at risk. Whatta guy!

"It's a pizza the moment you putta you fists in the dough!"

-Herman Cain

Foodies describe the flavor as
'succulent yet adorable.'

But if you're a homophobic Rick Perry fan who hates women, don't worry, the leather-faced Texas Governor's got you covered. Last week, Perry hopped back onto the crazy train at Cornerstone Action's 2011 Steward of the Family Banquet in Manchester. There, presumably over a plate of endangered baby panda chops, he applauded efforts to repeal gay marriage despite overwhelming public support in New Hampshire. He said this just a couple weeks after a gay teen was assaulted in his classroom...because Rick Perry is classy.

What is it with him and 

the squinting anyway? 

Of course, it's one thing to squint into the eyes of a child who's just been beaten up for being gay and tell him he doesn't deserve equal treatment under the law, after all, he's just a kid and Rick could probably take him in a fight. To really prove his alpha-jerk credentials he also voiced his support for the push to cut funding for birth control and health services for low-income women thus securing the douchebag trifecta of picking on gays, women, and the poor in one fell swoop. Ball's in your court, Herman Cain...wait, does that sound too gay? 

On a side note, who or what the hell is Cornerstone Action? Check out the link. Are they tireless crusaders against moral decay or sanctimonious dickweeds who get off on telling other people how to live their lives? You decide (hint: the answer is 'dickweeds'). 

Pictured: a totally un-retouched shot of their website.

p.s. I swear, the next post will be about Star Wars or something.