So...he's PROFA?

Oh no! It turns out that Martin Gugino, the protestor whom Buffalo police officers shoved to the ground, seriously injuring him, and then walked on by and then lied about it in a shocking display of unchecked police brutality and abuse of authority, is actually an antifa provocateur and the entire incident was a set-up. Can you believe it? No.

Gugino, seen here tricking Buffalo police into pushing him onto
the sidewalk before willing blood to pour out of his ear. You know,
just to make the police look bad. Or something.

A close up of Gugino's phone proves
ANTIFA has technology far beyond
that of our police, or indeed the Earth.

According to the President's tweet-huh? Yeah, the President tweeted about this, that's how we know it's totally true. Anyway, he tweeted: "Buffalo protester shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur..." the President claimed baselessly before going on to suggest that Gugino was using special antifa space technology in his phone to "...scan police communications in order to black out the equipment." The President ended with an analysis of Gugino's fall, concluding that he fell harder than he was pushed. Case closed. 

But who is this ANTIFA organization who are so routinely spelled in all caps? Well, according to the President, they're an insidious organization of lefties and Democrats who have orchestrated a vast conspiracy to make it appear that Donald Trump's presidency has done nothing by lurch from one avoidable and mismanaged crisis to another.

Pictured: the only known photograph of ANTIFA's mysterious leader.

Above: all the evidence. 

Incredibly, the fake news that has long worked to destroy Trump's beautiful reputation, such a beautiful reputation, you won't even believe, insists that despite all the evidence presented by both the President and One America News Network, antifa doesn't exist, at least, not as a single organization. Instead it's an umbrella term used by primarily right wing politicians and crackpots to whip their base into a nationalistic frenzy. Antifa, to hear them tell it, will stop at nothing until they have accomplished the left's only goal: to destroy America.

Hey, remember that time antifa
stormed the beach at Normandy?

Ok, so there is such a thing as antifa. It's short for anti-fascist. You might remember antifa groups as being among those who showed up to protest that white supremacist Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville. You remember, the one with all the "very fine people." According to the Anti-Defamation League, an anti-hate group organization, antifa philosophy is basically that Nazism only came to power in Germany because no one stood up to them. So that's what antifascism is all about.

"You mean, the President is being less
than honest with the American people?"

-no one, ever

Look, there is zero reason to believe that Martin Gugino is anything other than what he appears to be: an activist who, like so many other protesters in the uprising against police brutality in the aftermath of George Flloyd's murder, was assaulted by the law enforcement. And there's every reason to believe that his personal philosophy is anti-fascist. Hell, mine is, yours is (it is, right?), practically everybody's is. In fact, I'd bet if Trump's supporters would wipe the rabid foam from their mouths for five minutes and actually look up the definition of antifascism, they would see that they are too. 

So I guess where I'm going with this is, do you suppose it's a problem that the President is recklessly parroting conspiracy theories in an effort to discredit and attack people who are anti-fascist? And does that not further suggest that he is espousing an anti-anti-fascism stance? Because if it does, and check my math on this, doesn't that make him a fascist?

"Let's see, carry the one, raise to the third power and
yeah. Yeah, that checks out. He's pro-fascist."

-Math