Because synergy, that's why.

So because the internet is underpinned by algorithms designed to monitor our every search, every conversation, every like and then traitorously sell that information to advertisers so they can target us like game, I saw this ad covering the upper third of something I was trying to read. Huh? Click the link? The one back there in blue? You didn't see it? Can't you-that's why they're blue-look, doesn't matter, here:

Somewhere an algorithm decided that since I like
nerd stuff and am single, I must also like to drink.

Pictured: Business sex.

For those unfamiliar with boozing, that's an ad for Jonnie Walker whiskey, but not just regular Johnnie Walker, Game of Thrones-branded whiskey™. Yes, Game of Thrones,® the HBO show based on George R.R. Martin's almost certainly never to be completed opus about what would happen if the War of the Roses featured incest and ice zombies. It's called White Walker™ by Johnnie Walker® and answers the question what if a liquor company and premium cable channel had business sex and produced a cross promotional baby.

Let's take a closer look at the copy-that's what advertising people call the text of an ad. And yes, I only know that because I watched Mad Men. And no, I have no idea how to use ™ and ®, I'm just trying to be a jerk. But on to the copy:

In the interests of pedantry, 'serve' is
really only a noun if you're playing
tennis. People who use it this way are
the kind of people who say 'mouth-feel.'

"In celebration of the final season of the critically-acclaimed HBO series, Game of Trones, Johnnie Walker is proud to introduce White Walker by Johnnie Walker. This new blend perfectly reminds Johnnie Walker and Game of Thrones fans alike that "Winter is Here." ...With flavor notes like caramelized sugar, vanilla, and fresh berries, White Walker by Johnnie Walker makes for a delicious serve. The new blend is best served cold, inspired by the White Walkers beyond The Wall."

-White Walker™ by Johnnie Walker® 

ad copy by Jonnie Walker®™  

I guess if anything makes me think of White
Walkers it's IPA's. They're everywhere now
and nobody's doing anything about them.

Ok, couple of things. First, I really hate when products have a narrative. I refuse to believe that the CEO of Johnnie Walker™ woke up one day and decided that they should, nay must celebrate the final season of Game of Thrones. Also, is it really inspired by the White Walkers™from beyond The Wall®? Because I've seen GOT-that's the cool acronym everyone uses by the way. Anyway, I've seen it and I don't necessarily associate notes of caramelized sugar and vanilla with the unstoppable animated corpses of the dead.

The sight even offers Game of Thrones themed-sorry, Game of Thrones™ themed cocktail recipes from renowned mixologist Gabriel Orta-which, can we all agree that mixing drinks, even if you're really good at it, doesn't warrant an 'ology?' We can? Super.

This one's called Hold the Door, and it's named after the-
hang on, spoiler alert here-after Hodor's gut-wrenching
death scene from season 6. So uh...drink up?

You've kind of got to hand it to them,
they really synergized the shit out of this.

The whole thing makes me wonder why this exists. What's the marketing connection beyond the connection between graphic violence, nudity and content that may not be suitable for all family members, and whiskey? Look closely at the fancy gentleman on the bottle. He's dressed up like the Night King, (the head zombie), but why? It's a question I've wrestled with a lot in the hours since I spotted this ad and decided to write about how preposterous it is and the only answer I can come up with is that someone either at HBO or Johnnie Walker noticed that the show's undead hordes are called White Walkers and that the whisky is called Johnnie Walker.

That's it. that's the connection. Wordplay. And not even good word play. That's the kind of lazy turn of phrase that local news anchors use to segue into the next story and now it's the rationale for a $60 bottle of whiskey. Because synergy.

"From Game of Thrones, to Game of Throws. Free throws
that is, and Youngstown High beat Wheeling last night in overtime. 
We'll be right back with highlights and girl's soccer."

-Local News