Because branding, that's why.

What do you mean there's going to be a live-action Mega Man movie? Wait, what do I mean what do you mean? I'm just doing a thing. I'm pretending that you just told me about the Mega Man movie and like, now I'm really confused or upset about it. It helps me to ease into the topic. Just...just go with me on this.

Someone, somewhere looked at this and said
'Yeah, I think we can flesh this out into a two hour
 movie.' And then went back to their cocaine.

Pictured: 98% of adulthood.

Ok, so I should probably explain what Mega Man is because you're probably a grown-ass adult who does adult things like make auto insurance payments and complaining about how kids these days can't put down there damn phones for five minutes, and why don't they pull up their dungarees? Anyway, Mega Man is a long running action video game series in which you play a little blue robot called, get this, Mega Man who runs around battling evil, yet adorable robots.

...yeah, ok.

Which-ok, sure. According to Capcom, the game's developer, the movie-

"...aims to appeal to a diverse audience, including not only game players but action movie fans as well, with an adaptation that maintains the world of the Mega Man games, while incorporating the grand production and entertainment value that Hollywood movies are known for."

-some sort of press release
writing algorithm...unless,
you don't supposed someone
got paid for that, do you?

The 'world of the Mega Man games' huh...I know this is just like, an announcement and not a finished movie that I have seen, but I'd like to go ahead and pass immediate and harsh judgement. This is, after all, the internet. I mean, I love Mega Man games, but it's not for their dense narrative.

Above: about all of the story most people
saw before mashing the 'B' button to get started.

 Yeah, I said it. 

And ok, yeah, there's sort of a story: the evil Dr. Wily has built eight equally evil theme robots and Mega Man must explode them before facing Dr. Wily himself. Like, that's it. It's hardly a world. Sometimes later games tried to change it up a little by faking you out with a new villain, but that new villain (spoiler alert) is always some rando being forced by Dr. Wily to do his bidding, another evil robot built by Dr. Wily or actually is Dr. Wily, just with like a beard or something. It's sort of a running gag. The point is that the story, such as it is, is not only ridiculous, it's inconsequential. It's just a flimsy, yet serviceable context for the the jumping and explosions. Perfect for a video game, maybe somewhat thin for a ninety-minute to two hour live action movie? Although I suppose not having a decent story isn't quite the barrier to success it once was.

Coming this summer:
Cut Man: Origins A Mega Man Story

So I guess my question is, how is this going to be a live action movie? Wait, no, my question is why is this going to be a live action movie? Mega Man is great as a video game but will almost certainly be an unremarkable movie, so why do it? I mean, what kind of...oh wait, right, it's probably something to do with leveraging the IP to bring in the key demos. You know, synergizing brand recognition in order to develop the franchise? Oh! And I don't know about you, but I'm seeing interconnected, expanded universe potential here. Yes, I think we can all agree that the film industry is preposterous, soul-sucking and the death of creativity. Wait, is that going to far?

To even gaze upon it is to
invite madness and despair.

Well, yes, and also I'm judging something that doesn't yet exist, but I mean there is nothing about the Mega Man games that really calls for a movie version. In fact, the cartoony visuals and ridiculous premise that make it perfect as a video game, actively resist the kind of gritty, live action interpretation I'm dreading here. Back when the first game was released, the U.S. localization team handed the task of drawing the box art off to someone who had no idea what the game was about and the result was a nightmarish vision of what Mega Man would look like with even vaguely human proportions. I mean, look at this (see right). Now imagine watching that for two hours.

Anyway, I guess I just have a hard time seeing a live action movie based on something that relies so heavily on being a cartoony video game platformer working out for the best. Previous attempts at video game movies have been kind of disastrous, even with source material that should, by all rights, translate to the screen. Assasin's Creed, a game series with a deep, cinematic narrative has an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Again, I'm probably being totally unfair here, but is there some way this is not going to be terrible?

INT: CAVE
MEGAMAN is confronted by a fearsome-looking, fire-breathing 
robo-dog. Our hero leaps into the air, arms and legs splayed outward
in brave defiance, his arm cannon spewing hot plasma bolts.

MEGAMAN
I've heard of a hot dog, but this is ridiculous!