Monday, May 15, 2017

Oh, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about...

Above; The President and Russian
Ambassador and national stereotype
Sergey Kislyak shaking hands.
It's ok, don't worry everybody, that classified ISIS intelligence that the President revealed to Russian officials in that meeting-you know, the meeting that the American press wasn't allowed into, but the Russian press totally was? Yeah, you know, the press from the country that interfered with our elections and may, or may not have colluded with Trump to get him elected? That meeting? Anyway, the classified information he revealed to the foreign government that probably helped him get elected was totally within the bounds of things he's allowed to leak. So sleep tight.

Ok, even if it turns out not to be a real quote,
you've got to admit they totally have him down.
According to the Washington Post, a source that apparently has knowledge of what was discussed in the meeting quoted the President as having said:

"I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day."

-Trump, being his usual articulate,
cautious self about our sensitive 
classified national intelligence 

"WTF America? I thought we
were BFF's...#sharetheintel"
Of course the White House immediately denied that he shared any 'intelligence sources or methods,' but then nobody said he did. The story from the Washington Post was just saying that he revealed intelligence that would give away the source of the intelligence thus endangering that source and pissing off allies with whom we haven't shared this information which is like totally awkward. Hang on, is this whole thing starting to sound like the geo-political equivalent of the kind of fight middle school tweens are kind of famous for?

But whatever, because according to the White House even if the President was giving away sensitive information to officials from a foreign government that helped him 'win' the election, it's cool because he's the President.
"No I don't see the comparison between the President's leaking of sensitive
information and the claims he made against Secretary Clinton, but then I
lack the part of the brain responsible for self-evaluation. Any other questions?"
-Press Secretary Spicer, back for more
Trump and a military officer carrying
the nuclear 'football' which I hope to
hell is filled with newspaper and candy.
Yup, that's the defense from the White House. Now, you're thinking that that can't possibly be how this works, right? Well turns out that that part is probably true. The President is empowered to disseminate whatever information he or she (see what I did there?) deems necessary. Of course, that rule was made under the assumption that the President takes their job seriously and wasn't a novelty candidate run by a party so desperate to appeal to the worst part of its base that they let a reality TV clown hijack the primaries, and also that the President was elected by a majority of Americans. So let's try not to think about the fact that the former host of The Apprentice has nuclear first-strike capabilities.

But look, I think I speak for most of us when I say nobody gives a shit if he was technically within his rights to tell the Russians about our secret ISIS intel the point is why the fuck is he telling Russia about our secret ISIS intel? Say, you don't suppose there's some kind of connection between Trump and Russia, do you? Huh...nah, it's probably nothing.
"It's like old expression: I scratch your back,
divulge classified information. Dah?"
-The guy that picked
our President

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