Bad Guys

If you don't, we'll
know who to blame...

Ok everyone, tomorrow's the big day. Nine people in shapeless robes are (hopefully)* going to announce either that gay people deserve equal treatment under the law or that same sex marriage is an abomination and must be stopped before our wrathful God smites us with his uh...wrath. So cross your fingers, pray to gay Jesus and change your profile pic to that red equal sign thing because this could go either way, which I don't even understand. I mean, why should anyone care who other people are marrying? Don't like gay marriage? Then don't get gay married, but whatever, tomorrow's the day...maybe.

You know what? Screw this legal shit, let's just see who gets the most honks.

"I was thinking we could mail a bag of dog shit to
every gay person in America. Whatta ya think?"

-The NOM strategy meeting

for operation: Sour Grapes

So yeah, there are still people out there with nothing better to do than crap on other people's happiness. In fact, some people make a literal career out of it. Groups like the National Organization for Marriage and Family Marriage Council are already planning to continue fighting against marriage equality if the Supreme Court doesn't find in their favor. Like, right now their strategists are sitting down in a room somewhere coming up with new ways to make gay people's lives miserable. I know the world isn't black and white and I know that there's more than one side to every debate but gay marriage opponents are just being asshats, total asshats.

They say (they who? I don't know, people who say things) that in fiction the best bad guys are the ones who don't think that they're the bad guy. Take Magneto for instance. Yeah, he did some pretty terrible things, but he only wanted to make the world a better place for mutants and that's why he had to drop so many cars and asteroids on people.

Yes, he is murdering astronauts here, but it was for a good cause...I assume.

Did you guys ever stop to think
about how gay marriage would affect
 homophobes? No, I didn't think so. 

The world hated and feared mutants and he stuck up for them. You can see Magneto's side of things and that, along with his ability to exert control over magnetic forces, is why he's awesome. But what about real life bad guys like NOM and FRC? Am I a jerk for thinking that they're just bad (or at best, misguided) people? I know they think they have a point, and I know that they think it's the right one, but as far as I can tell their side boils down to 'we don't like gays and want to treat them like second-class citizens.' That's not a position, that's hate. 

"Really, I'm the victim here. If there were no
gay people, I wouldn't hate them so much."

-Peter Sprigg, FRC

Here, take this quote from Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council:

"One of the points of frustration for me has been that supporters of same-sex marriage want to portray the opponents of it as motivated entirely by hostility towards gay and lesbians people as individuals and that's completely untrue. We are concerned about the institution of marriage and making sure it continues to perform the important social functions it has always performed."

"Ha! So much for the institution of marriage!"

-Lesbians, ruining everything

So Spirgg says that he's not motivated by hostility towards gays and lesbians as people, but he is also saying that same sex couples will be so toxic to the institution of marriage that they'll ruin it for everybody. What the hell, man? That seems both personal and hostile. Whatever their intentions, the Family Research Council and other anti-gay hate groups (yeah, they're legitimate hate groups but still get to go on TV) are actively working to combat equality for gays and lesbians, and I think that makes them the bad guys here, and not even decent bad guys.

They're like the cheesy, two-dimensional bad guys of 80's cartoons. They're the Cobra† of national discourse. Just generically evil organizations with no real motivation other than sucking the happiness out of people's lives.

"I dessspisssse puppiessss!"

-Cobra Commander

*I mean I'm hopeful that they'll make their announcement tomorrow, they'll almost certainly be wearing those stupid robes. Oh well, it could be worse. In some countries they still wear powdered wigs.

Like for real, how are these guys taken seriously?

†And before you stick up for Cobra, please explain to me what their deal was. I mean, it was just one easily-thwarted and pointless scheme after another. What was their goal anyway?