|"This schmeat is shmamazing!"™|
You're welcome schmeat industry.
|"We're aiming for $250 per pound by 2025."|
Ok, so once you get over the initial ew gross of eating vat-grown bovine tissue, schmeat actually sounds kind of awesome. Since it's grown in a lab somewhere, schmeat doesn't require grazing land, doesn't produce methane and most importantly doesn't require a bolt gun to the head. Even PETA's behind it, and they hate everything.
|M&M's? Seriously? What did they do? Oh...oh dear God...|
|"Holy shit, you're doing what with my cells?|
I think I'd rather you just ate me now..."
But if it means murder-free burgers, I guess we can deal, right? Probably. Although how long do you suppose it will be before some weirdo in a lab coat comes up with Schmeople.™ I mean, someone's going to try it eventually...
|Try the new vat-grown McLongpig!|
For a limited time only.