SCOTUS? But we've only just met...

Well how's 'bout that? The Supreme Court, or SCOTUS if you're in a hurry, ruled that DOMA is complete bullshit, and that it totally doesn't want to touch Prop 8 with a ten foot Judging Pole. The ruling brought a swift and brutal smiting from the Almighty, just like gay marriage opponents have been saying all along. This was the scene earlier today:

"Ahhh! If only we'd listened to those assholes from
the National Organization for Marriage!"

Holy shit, I don't care about
your stupid bread bears. God, I
hope you never know happiness...

But don't propose just yet, this is real life, so obviously there's going to be a grab-bag of bullshit coming up. The Court ruled that the people who fought the lifting of the ban on same-sex marriage had no standing to do so. Cool, awesome, right? The SCOTUS has affirmed that just because two people of the same sex being married and being all gay with each other (or in the case of lesbians: lady gay with each other) weirds you out, it doesn't give you the right to use the full force of the American legal system to prevent them from enjoying hot Takei sex within the bonds of holy matrimony. Similarly, the fact that I'm sick of hearing people talk about things they saw on Pinterest (and could totally make) doesn't mean I should try to get an amendment written in to the Constitution that would make their marriage illegal. 

It just wouldn't be fair to let gay people
marry, not after these protesters worked
so hard on their signs.

While this is an important step, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals still has to actually lift the stay it put in place to give Prop 8 supporters time to complain and throw up legal obstacles. Sigh. Yeah, this again. This time they're getting yet another 25 days to appeal this ruling. 25 days to put together more pseudo-religious bullshit and legal roadblocks. Look, I know it's like super-important to be fair to the homophobic asshats who worked so hard and spent so much money making sure gay people get treated like second class citizens but the Supreme Court did just say that they're full of shit and that the 'gay people are icky' argument has all the legal standing of shut up. 

So why are they getting more time? This is time people could be getting married and starting their lives and registering for duplicates of things so they can return them to the store and keep the money. Look, today's rulings were excellent, but for real, what gives? No more do-overs for the anti-equality people. Done. They should take up Sudoku or something.

"Ok...we're going to let gay people get married now, unless anyone anywhere
has a problem with it...anyone? Last chance? Ok, when I bang this gavel it'll be official,
so going once...twice...yes! You in the back with the sign that reads God Hates Homosex!"