Our Grim Future...

I guess these guys were
sort of right about 2012...

Ewww, gross, what if Donald Trump was our next president? Apparently someone took a poll of likely idiots who, when asked who should be the GOP candidate in 2012, grunted loudly at the name Donald Trump. Probably because they heard it on TV. Sorry, am I being mean? Well, Trump seems to have absolute contempt for anyone stupid enough to get behind him, so why should I be kind?

"I send the bibles to a special place.
It's like a farm for bibles where they
can frolic, it's very interesting."

No, for real, check out this interview. I think he might be serious, he's already started fondling the Christian right by suddenly being religious. Here's a choice selection (quotes in queasy yellow):

   Brody:  I understand a lot of people send you Bibles. 
               Is that true?
   Trump: Well I get sent Bibles by a lot of people. 
   Brody:  Where are all those Bibles?
   Trump: Actually, we keep them at a certain place. 
              A very nice place. But people send me Bibles. 
              And you know it's very interesting.

Hey religious people, check it out: Donald Trump doesn't shred the excess bibles people send him. What a guy!

Pregnant?
Tough shit.

In the full interview I guess he's going to outline his stance on the issues, and I'll bet pinkie rings to bibles that he believes a lot of the things evangelicals believe. Like this:

He said that he became pro-life after witnessing a friend and his wife decide to keep a child that at first they didn't want. "He ends up having the baby and the baby is the apple of his eye. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to him," Trump told CBM. "And you know here's a baby that wasn't going to be let into life. And I heard this, and some other stories, and I am pro-life.

So one time Donald Trump's friend's wife got pregnant and they thought about not having the baby, but then they had the baby and that's why no one should be allowed to choose. Vote Trump.

Dinosaurs? Naw, Barack Obama
just hid bones in the substrata to
confuse people.

And yeah, he's a birther. Well, at least he says he's a birther. That's the worst part of all this, Donald Trump is kind of a dick and more than a little gross but he isn't stupid enough to believe that the President was secretly born in Kenya or Indonesia or anywhere else racists still insist he was. Trump knows that all he has to do is to convince people that their preposterous conspiracy theories were correct all along and a black guy couldn't have won in a fair election against a white war hero. And since a lot of these people insist that early man rode dinosaurs to work 6000 years ago, Trump's job is half done.