Another one? They're like The Fast and The Furious sequels...

Apple must have noticed that some people still had money left because they're making another iPhone. I'll admit it, I totally want one of these, but I just can't see past the crazytown expense. It's not just the initial purchase, but the phone service, and then the data plan because what the hell's the point of having one if you can't use it to find the nearest six In'N'Out burgers? And then there's the screen. Maybe they're fixing it for the new one, but I don't know anyone with an iPhone 4 that hasn't cracked the screen at least once. Whose bright idea was it to make them small, glass and frictionless?

I hear the new ones have screens made from a transparent meringue.

Also of note, is the unnecessary re-assurance that the earthquake/tsunami/Chernobyl potpourri of calamity that has befallen Japan will not, repeat NOT affect people getting their hands on iPhone 5. Check it out, it's near the end of the story. It says, and I quote:

Imagine Cookie Monster
reading the quote,
it'll make it more fun.

"Apple, a big purchaser of touchscreen displays and flash memory is also dependent on Japan for some of its key components, sparking concern that the disruption due to the crisis there may hurt its gross margins."

-someone with perspective problems

"Don't worry hon, I know it looks bad,
but Apple's supply chain is going to be OK."

'Gross' is the right word I think. I mean, why is this even being brought up? 'Sparking concern?' What the hell does that even mean? Who was concerned? Through the all the horror of the last month was anyone other than Apple's accountants (you know, 'cause it's their job) really worried about Apple's 2nd quarter earnings?