Thursday, March 3, 2011

Today in: Seriously?

"Those guys?

So the Supreme Court ruled that the hate-filled verbal shit fountain routinely spewed into the air by the foaming-rabid members of the Westboro Baptist Church is protected by the first amendment. Sigh. Ok, the constitution protects everyone, even lunatic bigots (or 'lunigots') who protest at military funerals and think that gay people cause hurricanes and 9/11. I guess I can understand the ruling in kind of an abstract way. It's like how Superman would probably have to save them if their plane was crashing on the way to Homophobic Fundamentalist Convention 2011 (or HoFuCon '11). He wouldn't like it, but his moral code doesn't let him pick and choose.

In a rare 'And Another Thing' ruling,
the Court declared that Westboro
Baptist Church is full of total dicks.

The ruling basically says that Westboro Baptist Church members were within their rights and that we can't stop them from speaking just because what they say is batshit crazy. However the Justices did all agree that that the church-goers are total assholes-well, they didn't call them that, but wouldn't it be great if they did? Like if the Court handed down some kind of writ that changed the name of their group to Westboro Pack of Raving Assholes? That would be a thing.

"What? Sometimes
it's not lupus..."

But seriously, what's wrong with these people? What makes them get up in the morning and decide to spread misery? Is it syphilis? I watch a lot of House M.D. and I'm pretty sure crazy of this magnitude has to be medical. And what's really screwed up is that these folks get their kids into it too. How is this not child abuse? Didn't they take Charlie Sheen's kids away because he's mentally unstable and said Two and a Half Men sucks? Are we seriously saying that Charlie Sheen is scarier? If the Westboro Baptists were waving signs saying: 'God Hates Dancing With The Stars' would the county be knocking on their doors?

What about this says 'fit mother?' That kid is like, what, 7? What could he possibly hate?
Did his mom threaten to take the Wii away if he doesn't hate gay people enough?

No comments:

Post a Comment