Today in Pokémon-based investments:

Look, I don't want to tell people how to spend their $56,000 but...uh...no, I absolutely want to tell people how to spend their $56,000. Buy a car, go to college, maybe put a down payment on a house. But whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, blow it all on a box of Pokémon cards at an auction.

If you can think of something better to do with fifty-six
thousand-oh right, a bank. You could put it in a bank.

Wait, Esquire covers Pokémon
news now? Shouldn't they be
writing about attractive people?

Because that's what some buffoon did. Wait, sorry, that's just unfair of me. I'm only calling this as yet unidentified person a buffoon because they went and blew fifty-six thousand dollars on three hundred ninety-six, 19-year old trading cards. And only an buffoon would do something that stupid, right? But this could be a genius move because according to Esquire Magazine, there's a chance that there's a Charizard Holo among those cards and one of those once sold for $55,650. So in many ways this ridiculous extravagance could secretly be a wise investment. And-huh? Uh, no we didn't talk this already. You're thinking about that other Pokémon card that sold for a similarly preposterous sum.Yeah, it's turns out they're a lot of people out there with massive amounts of disposable income and no better ideas about how to spend it.

The secret is to win at the games.

Oh, and when I called this a genius move a moment ago, understand that I mean that in the way that gambling at a Casino is a genius move. That is to say, it's genius if it pays off. Otherwise you just threw your money away like an idiot. Because if this buyer drops fifty-six grand on a sealed, pristine condition, first edition or whatever box of cards and then starts tearing them open only to not find a Charizard Holo card-an extremely likely outcome mind you-they're going to feel quiet the fool.

I mean, more so. Charizard or no Charizard, they did just spend the average American's yearly income on Pokémon cards. Although I'm not sure now if that says more about this anonymous collector or America.

Pictured: the average American's yearly income...let that sink in.