Igor Ashurbeyli: Making Space Great Again

You might want to have one of these handy.

If someone were to ask you if you'd like to shape the future of Space Law, you'd say sure, right? Or if they offered you the opportunity to live on an artificial habitat hurtling though the airless void above the Earth, you'd take it in a minute right? Of course you would-huh? Yes, obviously it will have wifi. Now what if I told you all you had to do was to become a citizen of something called the Space Kingdom of Asgardia? And that's where the crazy comes in. Or does it? Well, yes, probably, but at least it's well-intentioned crazy. So what the shit am I on about? Why this.

*actual Space Nation may vary.
More on that in a minute.

You really should click, but since you probably won't, I'll try and sum up. Asgardia is, in its own words:

"...the first independent, free, unitary and social Space Nation, which is transethnic and secular, is based on morality, fairness, peace and the equal dignity of every human being, looks to the future and the infinite Universe and is a Kingdom."

-From the Asgardia Constitution, note

the conspicuous absence of an 'everyone 
gets guns' clause. Advantage: Asgardia

"Hey, we support equality and democracy.
Also conquering the surface world."

-Some Reploid

As for the claim that this is the first Space Nation, I'm not even going to try to substantiate it. I'm confident that any internet search into the subject is almost certainly going to lead to discussions about subterranean lizard people masquerading as humans and I just don't have the patience. But the other parts sound pretty nice. Utopian, maybe but not necessarily foil-hat territory. Really, if you can get past the space kingdom part, the whole thing seems pretty upbeat and positive. There's an emphasis on human rights, social justice and equality and it's super democratic. Anyone can join, even if you live on Earth.

In fact, the constitution even requires Asgardians to take on the responsibility for protecting the Earth from space-based threats. And no, not aliens. Threats like astroids and space junk that might threaten the surface.

Although they do mention 'biological threats' so yeah, aliens too.
Asgardia wants to be our first line of defense against aliens.

"Unlimited power!" crowed Ashurbeyli
at the Space Council's inaugural meeting.

They have a flag, national emblems, a coat of arms, even an anthem. They're putting together a government with a head of state which, incidentally, just happens to be Igor Raufovich Ashurbeyli, a Russian billionaire who founded Asgardia and hey, did I mention earlier that it's like super-democratic? Well, many Asgardian citizens are upset that citizenship is contingent on agreeing with the constitution, and that constitution grants Ashurbeyli the total power over the Supreme Space Council and the right to dissolve parliament.

But I suppose Russia seems to have a kind of squidgy relationship with the concept of democracy, so maybe these are just growing pains.

Above: A 2018 Russian Presidential election poster. The translation reads:
"Vote Putin: The only choice for President. And da, we mean that literally."*

Above: Asgardia-1. That technician
 is holding Asgardia. The whole thing.

Ok, so they've got a constitution, nearly a quarter of a million citizens and political squabbling. All they need now is, you know, a space station. Yeah, here's the rub: Asgardia, as a thing, is still pretty theoretical. According to the website they have a satellite, and while it is orbiting the Earth it's not exactly a space station. You can't actually live on it. It could fit in your glove box. But it has an uplink so citizens can upload a file with their name or their picture or a message or something. And that's cool. I'm not knocking it, I mean, can any of us claim to have a satellite?

Anyway, Asgardia's long term goal is to launch an inhabitable 'Space Ark' somewhere down the line and then later to establish a moon base, which cool but, uh...am I a jerk for finding this a little...you know...batshit? 

Ashurbeyli taking the oath of office
whilst wearing the official badge of
office: a space necklace ss...I guess.

Probably, I mean, check out some of the remarks Asurbeyli at his swearing-in ceremony earlier this summer:

"Today will certainly be recorded in the history of the greatest event in human history...Therefore I can state with confidence that Asgardia-the first space state of a united human-has been born."

-Igor Ashurbeyli, on how his inauguration

was the best inauguration, so good you

won't even believe how good it was

Move over founding fathers, some
crazy rich Russian guy just swore
 himself in as the President of Space.

While I'm sure this event will totally be historically recorded in the history of all, uh, history, I'm just not sure that Asgardia is the imaginary space nation for me. Look, don't get me wrong, I want to be on Team Asgardia, I really do. I mean, a new utopian society dedicated to peace and equality, ruled by a former defense contractor and orbiting majestically around our troubled little world? Sounds great, sign me up. But as of right now Asgardia is little more than a thought experiment that takes PayPal. And Igor seems a little vague on how it's going from website to Space Kingdom. 

Like, the website is mostly dedicated to discussions about how the Space Government is going to function and not on say, how the hell they're going to build a colony on the surface of the moon. And again, I whole heartedly support anyone who wants to go and settle the final frontier, but figuring out how your first wave of moon people can survive the cold, hostile environment beyond our atmosphere seems a little more important than deciding how big to make Igor Ashurbeyli's face on the twenty space-buck bill. 

Yeah, it's important to have an anthem and a currency and everything, but they've
 got a plan to deal with all the lethal radiation the moon is bathed in, right? Riiight?

*oh, like you speak Russian...