Today in gift horses:

Now that the initial bliss over the news of Patrick Stewart's return to Star Trek has faded a bit, it's time to start picking apart the motivations behind it. CBS's motivations I mean, Patrick Stewart's motivations are noble and pure. He is, after all, Sir Patrick Stewart. So why look askance at the network? Because by bringing him back, Star Trek, like as a thing, might be taking a step back by looking forward.

Confused? Here, just use this handy timeline. Huh?
No, it won't clarify anything, I just think it's neat.

Yup, any chance to get a dig in on
Nemesis. I'm like a dog with a bone.

Ok, lemme explain that confusing statement. This is the first time since the objectively terrible Star Trek Nemesis in 2002, that a new entry in the series has taken place after the previous one. That is, Star Trek: Enterprise, the reboot movies (mostly) and Star Trek: Discovery have all been prequels. And that's fine...I mean, it's kind of weird that a show about the future has been retreading its own fictional history for most of the 21st century. It's still the future, just the past of the future. With me?

I'd like to go on recored as saying that
more Picard is always a good thing.

Super. So the New Adventures of Old Picard, which is probably not what they're going to call it, is a welcome return to the future of the future. Or maybe not so welcome. At least that's according to this piece by Ani Bundel on NBC News. In it she points out the uncomfortable possibility that the return of Captain Picard might be, at least in part, about appeasing toxic fans. Ok, clearly only in some bizarre mirror universe scenario would I see the merit in someone suggesting that more Star Trek and more Picard could possibly have a downside, but Bundel has a point.

They even have a...robot? Cyborg?
A whatever Airiam's deal is...

Fifteen years after the bold casting move of a choosing a white American male lead for the last TV entry, Star Trek: Enterprise (love Scott Bakula, but it's true), the producers of Star Trek cast a woman of color in the starring role for the new show. Ok, her character, Micheal Burnham isn't the captain, but she's still clearly the star of Discovery, and she's leading the most diverse cast in the series. There're people of color, gay people, secret Klingons, people from alternate realities, everyone is there. The future finally looks like the future.

But then earlier this year we get the announcement that the new captain of the Discovery is going to be...drum roll please...Captain Pike played by Anson Mount. Another white dude and an existing character from Star Trek. Huh. Also we find out that season 2 will center around Burnham's relationship with her brother Mr. Spock. Oh, and did I mention that there're like four or five other Trek shows coming?

Pictured: Sonequa Martin-Green's Micheal Burnham and
the chair she's apparently not ever going to get to sit in. 

"We have the utmost confidence in our
cast. Anywho, introducing Captain Pike!"

-CBS...no, really

And finally, in the middle of the Star Trek convention in Las Vegas we get the news that Patrick Stewart would be putting on the unitard and boldly going again. And to be clear, this is fantastic news. Like, mind blowing. And I am super-excited, but even I, someone who spends time opining about Star Trek on the internet, has to admit that it's not a great visual. CBS's move to so quickly follow up Discovery with such a sure-fire nerd pleaser as the return of Picard kind of feels like them not trusting that Star Trek can be carried by Sonequa Martin-Green. Which is bullshit, because she's great.

Again, don't get me wrong, I will watch the shit out of Jean-Luc "I'm Too Old For This Shit" Picard. Patrick Stewart's personal reason for returning is that he's sick of how Trumpy everything has gotten, and so he's heeding the call because he's an excellent human. But Bundel's making the case that CBS might be hedging its bets here, and since corporations are soulless money making organisms, I'm inclined to believe that that may true.

"A starship hundreds of years into the future that travels great distances
 instantaneously though the power of fungus? Totally plausible. That the
Starfleet allows women to hold positions of authority? Preposterous!"

-Toxic fans