Today in crippling insecurity...

At a Trump campaign rally Thursday night, West Virginia Governor Jim Justice, a Democrat whose name the internet assures me is real, announced that he would be switching parties, leaving the country is stunned. Well as stunned as you can be about a rich white guy joining the Republican party.

Coming out as conservative can be a long, difficult process for a wealthy
white man and I want to be clear that I support Jim Justice in his journey.

"Don't you drag me into this, I told you to
give all your money to the poor and to stop
being a dick. The opposite of Republican."

-God

In his remarks, Justice explained that God helped him make this difficult, but politically savvy-well, West Virginia savvy, move:

"Let me just say this to you as bluntly as I can say it: West Virginia, at the alter, when we had it done, like it or not like it, but the Democrats walked away from me. Today I will tell you with lots of prayers and lots of thinking, I'll tell you West Virginians that I can no longer help you being a Democrat governor."

-Governor Jim Justice, The GOP's
newest member, trying out some of
the party's trademark incoherence

Hilariously, even as I write this, eight of the ten news articles on the state's GOP website's front page are attacks on the Governor calling him out for broken promises, stiffing the Boy Scouts, shady business interests and refusing to pay taxes which, hang on, are we sure he wasn't a Republican already? Political commentary: achieved.

Man, the West Virginia GOP better get one of their member's
grandkids to come over and show them how to change the internets.

Remember when he got his ass handed to
him in the debates but people still voted
for him? Those were the days, right?

Anyway, Justice's decision gives the GOP control of-huh? Yeah, I did say campaign rally...for the President. Weird right? Shouldn't he be off Presidenting? Or at the very least tweeting about how great America's going to be? But instead he's holding campaign rallies where he-no joke, continues to go after Hillary Clinton whom he defeated (technically). In fact, he used Thursday's bully platform to complain about how Robert Mueller should be investigating her emails instead of his Russia ties which isn't even-wait, you don't suppose that he keeps holding rallies because it reminds him of campaigning? 

Cripplingly? Is that the word?
Yes, cripplingly insecure, that's it. 

You know, that magical time where he didn't have any real responsibilities and could just throw stones at Washington and complain about how easy being President must be and how any idiot could do it? And now that he's President with a 33% approval rating and an administration that lurches from one unmitigated shit show to the next, maybe he's realizing that having the job isn't nearly as easy as running for it. So like, all he can do to stay sane is surround himself with cheering crowds to drown out all the self-doubt...yikes, how insecure is he?

Holy shit, that's it, isn't it? He holds rallies in safe, red regions full of dedicated supporters so he can bask in their adoration and applause. That's like...super sad. I almost feel-well, not bad for him but...something. Grudgingly somewhat less unsympathetic than usual?

Pictured: Trump at Thursday's rally in-wait, drain
the swamp? C'mon man, he's standing right there...