|Whattaya mean mixed metaphor? Buckle up, because we're going|
off-roading...into the nerdy long grass of obscure video game knowledge.
|"Hey, what's that you're damning us with?|
Is that faint praise? It is, isn't it..."
|To be clear, I didn't say a lot more|
complex, Castlevania's plot is 'go kill
things for points because vampires.'
At least that's the U.S. localization. In Japan it's even more complicated, giving Dracula a back story about his wife being burned at the stake for being a witch and he and his son Alucard having a falling out over how to deal with it. Dracula wants to murder everyone in the world and Alucard is all 'live and let live...' Heavy shit, right?
|It would be almost Shakespearean if Shakespeare wrote plays|
about fighting Frankenstein with crucifix-shaped boomerangs.
|"Yeah, I just meant I want it to make a|
ton of money. Like Game of Thrones."
|"Yeah, but what have priests done |
recently...wait, don't answer that."
|Above: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. |
Because fuck Sharknado. You can't
just set out to make a terrible movie.
But you know what is going to be a lot more like Game of Thrones? The Witcher show Netflix is doing next. The game it's based upon is itself based on a book series. It sort of takes the sex and violence of GOT and mixes in the werewolves and vampires of Castlevania. So to put it in business-y corporate terms: Netflix is going to synergize the shit out of their brand appeal with this new content.
|Pictured: a scene from Witcher III: Wild Hunt in which Geralt of Rivia and Yennefer|
are about to totally do it while riding a unicorn. Ball's in your court, Game of Thrones.