Sunday, April 30, 2017

With apologies to bourbon drinkers...

Do you know what's ridiculous? Us. America I mean. 'Well, obviously...' you say, rolling your eyes at me, '...but in what specific way?'
I mean, look at these idiots...
I mean, who wouldn't want
to party with these folks?
And I'm getting there. Settle down. First read this. Or don't, I know you're a busy person, so I'll summarize. A group called the Traditionalist Worker Party held a planned rally in Piketown Kentucky yesterday. From the name you'd probably think they were communists or socialists, but they're actually white supremacists. Why Piketown? Because the region is deep Trump country and they thought they could pick up some supporters once they explained to everyone how awesome white people are.

What about myspace? No one's using it.
Naturally, when they posted their plans on Facebook a counter protest was organized-which, gross, they're on Facebook? Also was that the best move? I'm not trying to give neo-Nazis any pointers here, but let's face it, they're pretty heckle-worthy. You'd think they'd want to avoid counter-protests by maybe not being so obvious about their plans. Isn't there like some racist equivalent of Facebook they could use? Like, is there such a thing as Racebook?

Anyway, the rally was yesterday and the anti-facisits showed up first because, get this: the white supremacists were late to their own rally. And again, I don't want to tell these people how to run their racist, fascist club for white people with persecution complexes, but they're never going to invade Poland if they can't even get their shit together in rural Kentucky.
What, were they waiting for their hair to dry?
Pictured: fish, possibly
racist fish.
But they did eventually show and the day went off more or less as expected. The Nazis in their combat boots and black shirts waved their stupid signs and extolled the virtues of being pigment-deficient and the anti-fascists pointed out how the Traditional Workers Party is a bunch of worthless shitheads, which, like heckling a bunch of racist fish in a barrel, right? I mean, lookit:

"The white man built this country!"

-An unidentified attendee, leaving out
the part about five centuries of slavery

But that's Kentucky for you, right? Bourbon, the Kentucky Derby and racists...

Ah-ha! Gotcha! This is indeed not Kentucky for you, or at least not necessarily the people of Piketown Kentucky. It turns out the racist shithead Traditional Workers Party and a lot of the people that showed up to counter-protest weren't even from the area.
Although the bourbon part is probably true.
"To be clear, I am not a racist, I just
pander to racists. Huge difference."
Yeah, the Traditionalist Worker whatevers just picked Piketown because it's super-white and they assumed that ignorant southerners would hop aboard their hate-train. Instead, locals were just super-pissed that the neo-Nazis showed up. Sure, Pikeville might have voted Trump and sure, for a lot of us it isn't a huge leap from Trump to white supremacists, but when you already feel like the rest of the country pins a ton of unfair stereotypes on you, having a hate group pick your town for their hate-parade has got to be frustrating.

I'm not saying that the people of Piketown are off the hook for the 2016 election, and of course the counter-protestors are goddamn heroes for showing up to shout back at the ignorant skinheads; some of whom were armed. But it must seriously suck that their town gets to spend the next few days in the news as the place where all the racists come to wave their stupid Civil War-losers' flags and just generally be human garbage.
I bet the racists didn't even patronize local businesses like Giovanni's Buffet and
Fun Center. If they did, maybe they wouldn't be so hateful all the time. Skeeball?
All you can eat wings? Holy shit, did Piketown Kentucky almost solve racism?

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